Page 110 of Ford

“Yeah. It’s not until after I get out of trouble that I throw up.” She wasn’t entirely kidding. “But that wasn’t my first run-in with a guy who wasn’t well-behaved.”

Something flashed in Yanna’s eyes, a shared understanding perhaps. Her mouth thinned to a dark line. “I learned quickly that depending on a man made me weak. So I refused to be weak. Until I got in over my head. And that’s when I realized that I didn’t have to be the strongest one in the room. That maybe God had sent David. And that got my attention. David reminded me that maybe I wasn’t alone.”

A dove landed on the window, began to pick at breadcrumbs left on a plate outside.

Scarlett didn’t know why—maybe it was the sound of the shower running in the next room—but Ford tiptoed into her head with his lethal, beautiful words.Maybe that’s why God sent me into your life because whatever happens, I will show up for you, Red.

Heaven help her, she believed him. “My mother fell for any guy who looked her way. She was desperate for love. And when she found it, there wasn’t room in her life for more than one.” She broke apart the cookie into smaller bites, eating a few of the pieces. “I guess I’m here because I don’t like being left behind.”

Yanna reached across the table and touched her hand. “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

Huh? Scarlett frowned and Yanna laughed.

“It’s from a Bible story. David likes to tell it to the children—it’s about Moses of the Old Testament, and right before he dies, he tells his people that God will go with them. That they won’t be alone. All they have to do is call out to Him, and He’ll be there. Every time. He does not forsake His people.”

Scarlett picked up her plate and walked to the window. Opened it. “I’m used to being alone.”

“Maybe. But it doesn’t mean you’re meant to be alone.”

The dove flew away, but she put the cookie crumbs out for it. “I don’t need promises. They’ll just get broken, like you said.”

“Not with the right man. Didn’t you say Ford was some sort of Spetsnaz?”

Scarlett frowned.

“Special Forces?”

“Yes, he’s a SEAL. We’re both in the Navy, and for the past three years I’ve been his radio contact. Relaying orders, keeping him informed of what the drone sees.”

“You’re his partner.”

“No. I’ve just been his eyes and ears. His fellow teammates are his partners. But we did have a connection. It started me thinking that I wanted more… I think I let myself believe that I wanted to be part of his spec ops world. And not just him—I liked the idea of rescuing someone, not being the rescuee anymore. So I asked to try out to be a Rescue Swimmer.”

She turned, her back to the window.

Yanna had turned too. “Oy.”

“I passed the initial test. And he helped me. But the thing is, in order to save someone, you can’t let them hang on to you. You have to push them away, get control of the situation.”

She looked past Yanna to the hallway where Ford might appear any moment.

“I feel like I’m holding on too hard to Ford. That he’s drowning. And he’s too polite to push me away.”

“Oh,maya doragaya. That is just your fears talking. You don’t see things as they are—you only see through the window of your past, through the things you believe. I know—I thought David could never love someone like me. With my fractured past, with my broken beliefs. But my past made me who I was, and he lovedthatperson. I wouldn’t be who I was without that past. Don’t let your past decide your future. Open your eyes and see what I see. Ford is holding on just as hard.”

Ford had picked right then to show up, a towel raised to his hair, scrubbing it dry. He had worn a clean shirt, unbuttoned, and a pair of black pants, and her traitorous gaze had gone to the dark hair on his chest, the ripple of muscle along his stomach. Those pale green eyes that latched on her and swept away everything but the longing that maybe, just maybe, Yanna was right.

Ford is holding on just as hard.

Yanna’s words filled her head now as she sat on the train station bench, her eyes painfully, fully open.

Ford did need her—needed her to watch his back, listen to him after an op, and sure, he would be glad to kiss her when she threw herself at him.

But he wasn’t holding on to her. Not anymore.

Maybe not ever.

She made herself a little ill with her own weakness.

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