Page 88 of Knox

Ruby Jane leaned over, and said, sotto voce, “Coco’s name is really Katya—her mother was a family friend who passed away a few years ago. Coco lived with us for four years, and Wyatt sorta—”

“I’m standing right here,” Wyatt said, turning to lean a hip on the counter, bringing the coffee cup to his lips. “Coco and I were good friends, nothing more.”

Ruby Jane rolled her eyes.

“I just worry about her.”

“She left shortly after Orrin died, although she came back about a year later for a week or so to see us. Wyatt came home for that weekend. You remember that, right Wyatt?”

He nodded, a strange emotion flashing in his eyes. It vanished as Gerri continued.

“We haven’t heard from her except for once—a post card from Russia a year ago.”

“It’s like she got sucked back into the Cold War,” Wyatt said. “My coach is trying to get a game with one of the Russian teams, sort of an exhibition, and it’s like we’re asking them to defect.” He lifted a shoulder. “A couple more degrees and we’ll be back in the Cold War and she’ll disappear into the Siberian tundra. We need to find her and bring her home.”

Something about the earnestness of his words tugged at Kelsey’s heart. She’d bet they’d been more than ‘good friends’. The poor man carried a flame for this woman, even now.

“Thank you, Wyatt, for that political downer,” Ruby Jane said. She finished packing the tin with dough balls. “The fact is, Katya is an American, too.” She picked up the tin and carried it to the oven. “Her mom married a Russian while she was a foreign exchange student in college and she stayed in Russia. They separated, and her mother moved back to Geraldine, bringing Katya with her.”

She set the timer on the oven. “And don’t believe for a second that Wyatt considered them just friends. There’s a reason we don’t let him out in the barn alone with a girl.”

“Hey! Everyone is overreacting.”

Ruby Jane returned to the counter and pulled out another round tin. “Ford found Wyatt and Coco in a clench in the barn right before Wyatt went to play for the Minnesota Blue Ox junior team.”

“She wasn’t my sister or anything. Sheesh. Everybody overreacts.” Wyatt stalked away toward the den.

Gerri turned to Ruby Jane, bending over laughing, her eyes shining, her floury hand on her daughter’s shoulder.

The gesture stirred up a bittersweet memory, one camped out in Kelsey’s subconscious so long she hardly remembered it.

Christmas baking, age thirteen. She and Mom in the kitchen cutting out cookies. The movieWhite Christmasplaying in the background, the snow piling against the windows.

Her throat tightened, and she forced a smile. “Wyatt sounds like he’s not quite over her.”

“No, sadly, he’s holding pretty tight to that old flame,” Ruby Jane said. “Poor guy. I don’t think Coco liked him as much as he liked her. But Wyatt is…a charmer. And Coco had a lot of wounds back then that she was covering up. Wyatt was just a Band-Aid.”

“We all have our Band-Aids, don’t we?” Gerri said, lifting her apron to wipe her eyes. “Coco was an eighteen-year-old girl who’d lost her mother at fourteen. That’s a rough time to lose a parent. You’re going through puberty and you have this terrible mix of emotions, and then suddenly, you lose everything? She just couldn’t grapple with it all. I don’t blame her for trying to stop the bleeding any way she could. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? You put on a Band-Aid, but you don’t really deal with the infection inside. You don’t really dig down, clean it out, deal with the pain, and heal. And after a while, the Band-Aid just feels normal.”

She looked up at Ruby Jane. “I actually think she loved Wyatt. Or wanted to. But she was too scared to feel it. To let him into her life. She’d been so busy numbing herself to her grief, she also numbed herself to the real feelings she had for Wyatt. So she let him Band-Aid her wounds.”

“That’s an awfully generous description of what was happening in the barn, Ma,” Ruby Jane said, grinning.

“I would call it grace, honey. Something that we need to give as well as receive, every day.”

Kelsey stared at Gerri and heard her words from nearly a week ago.He gave me just enough grace for that day to keep going on with my life.

Ruby Jane finished filling the second tin. “She was so embarrassed, she returned to Russia.”

“Your brother probably blames himself, so go easy on him, RJ.”

Ruby Jane went silent as the buzzer went off on the oven. She walked over to switch the pan to a lower shelf and add the second tin. The tangy aroma of cinnamon and brown sugar filled the air, and Kelsey nearly wept with the smell.

“She was my best friend as well as my sister, and I miss her.” It was the first hint of hurt in Ruby Jane’s voice.

“I know, honey. We all love her. And I’m hoping she’ll come back and realize that her wounds aren’t handicaps but are what make her beautiful.”

And Kelsey couldn’t stop herself. “What do you mean,beautiful?”

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