Page 111 of Knox

“This is what you do, bro. You pile up your life with stuff, then brood about how stuck you are. Has it occurred to you that God has given you a chance to have something more, if you have the guts to take it?”

Knox just blinked at him. “What are you—”

“For the smart one, you are so bad at the math. First, Kelsey is in love with you.”

He shook his head against the words, the swift rush of desire. What if? But, “No, she said she doesn’t want me.”

“C’mon. Yeah, she does. She’s just scared.” Reuben sat down in one of the leather chairs.

“When did you become an expert on women?”

“I’m not—this is Gilly’s insight, but she’s probably right. A woman who has been through what Kelsey has is going to run from the first sign of getting hurt. Physically and emotionally.”

“I would never hurt her.”

“Yeah, actually, you will, even if you try not to, but that’s beside the point.” Reuben leaned back and crossed his leg across his knee. “She needs you to be bigger than her fears. Stronger than her rejection. And yes, if you truly believe that she doesn’t want you in her life, then you have to let her go. But a woman who opens her heart up wants to know she will be protected.”

“How can I protect someone who says they don’t want to be protected?”

“You show up. You wait. You give. You sacrifice. You love anyway.”

Knox nodded, looked out the window. The sky arched blue, the clouds wispy over the dark-edged line of mountains. “People need me here.”

“Oh, bro. You and Kelsey are so much alike, and you don’t even see it. She thinks she needs to keep moving to stay safe. You’re afraid to leave.”

Knox frowned at him. “I’m not afraid—”

“You’re terrified, bro. You think it’s all going to fall apart without you.”

“The ranch is my responsibility! Dad counted on me to be here, and…and I wasn’t.I wasn’t here. I was off chasing some silly dream of being a bull rider, and…it got him killed.”

A muscle pulled in Reuben’s jaw. “Yeah. You’re not the only one who thinks that.”

Knox frowned at him.

“Dad wanted me to be a firefighter—after he told me to leave, he sent a letter to my old jump boss, Jock, and asked him to teach me. But I never got over the sense that I should have come back, should have been here. If I had then maybe Dad wouldn’t have been alone.”

Knox drew in a breath, this throat tight.

“And you wouldn’t have had to give up your so-called silly dreams of being a bull rider. You were good at it. Much better than I ever was, and you deserved your shot.”

Knox looked at him.

“I’m sorry, bro. I should have been a better big brother to you. I was so angry about my life, and stupid Chelsea, I abandoned you. And you had to stick around and pick up the pieces. But…I’m here now. And I want to help.” He leaned forward. “And for the record, I forgive you for Chelsea.” He shook his head. “She was wild and I knew it, and frankly, you probably saved me from getting into big trouble there.”

Knox pursed his lips. “You finding us probably saved me…well, you know…”

Reuben gave a soft nod.

“I’ve tried very hard to be the man Dad wanted me to be,” Knox said quietly.

“Me too,” Reuben said. “Still trying.”

Knox let the silence pass between them, his fingers absently running over the taped song lyrics on the desk. His gaze went to it, then back to Reuben.

“Who do you see when you look at Jesus?”

Reuben frowned, then, “Oh, you’re being Dad. He used to ask us that. I never knew what to answer—”

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