Page 110 of Knox

Not Tate. That was probably for the best.

“I got this, boss,” he said and winked at her.

“Is that the insurance adjuster prowling around outside?”

Knox looked up from where he stood at his window, watching the portly, bald man from Helena traipsing around his barn, taking pictures.

He turned to Reuben’s voice, spotted him standing in the doorway to his office.

“I’m staying out of his way.”

“Or feeling like you want to hit somebody, so you’ve decided to brood in your office.” Reuben came in and shut the door behind him.

“I’m not brooding.” Knox turned away from the window. But even from his countenance, flashing so quickly in the reflection in the window, he hadmiserablewritten in his furrowed brow and gritty, bloodshot eyes.

Five days had passed since a terrorist showed up at the ranch, but Knox kept reliving seeing Kelsey crouched over Glo, kept feeling his heart jerk out of his body. Most of the time he woke in a cold sweat, biting back a shout.

It can’t work.Translation. He wasn’t enough to keep her here. To build a life with.

Then, unable to sleep, he’d sit in the darkness, the moon waxing through his room, listening to her words, fighting them.

Except, maybe she was right. What was he going to do, give up his ranch, his life to be her—what—groupie?

And no, he couldn’t ask her to give up her career, her dreams, everything she’d worked for.

Which meant he spent another hour staring at the ceiling, thinking about her sweet voice, the woman he’d seen onstage, and the cruel words he’d thrown at her.It’s easier to be the performer onstage than the person who is scared and vulnerable and…who just wants to be loved.

Yeah, what a jerk. Because didn’t they all feel that way?

It was easier for him to bury himself in work, in the to-do list on the ranch than to let himself acknowledge for a moment that he’d met someone who made him feel like he was exactly who he should be. Nice. Safe. And the guy who believed in the old-fashioned, happy ending.

Which then made him throw back his covers and spend the rest of the night unsnarling the finances of the ranch. At least it made him feel as if he might be accomplishing something. Instead of sitting around letting the woman he loved become—what had Tate called it? Collateral damage.

Brooding might be exactly the right term.

“Dude,” Reuben said now, “you’re the definition of darkness. I’ve never seen a guy so determined to pretend he’s happy. I thought your face would crack on Saturday from the forced smiling.”

“What? I was happy. It was Ma’s birthday.”

“Like a man tied to a stake in the sun is happy he’s getting a tan. C’mon—you just lost the woman you love.”

“I don’t…”

Reuben raised an eyebrow, held up his hand. “Listen, I get it. Believe me, I didn’t want to face the fact that I was in love with Gilly until…until I thought she’ddied.And it was the worst few hours of my life.”

Knox stared at him, still a little bruised from the excruciating hour it’d taken to find Kelsey and Glo. “Fine. Yes. Okay. I’m in love with her. Around her, I feel like I can be me. And maybe I am boring and safe and nice, but…she makes that okay.”

“I’ve never, not once thought of you as nice, just so we’re clear.” Reuben was smiling.

“Funny.” Knox shook his head. “Truth is, with everything inside me, I want to go to Vegas. And every second that Tate doesn’t call me, I’m losing my mind.”

“Then go.”

“I can’t—I need to get the repairs on the barn going and finalize the purchase of Calamity Jane with the bank and start the training on the younger bulls and—”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake—stop!”

Knox raised an eyebrow.

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