Page 51 of Light My Fire

He just stared at her. “What are you talking about—”

“There’s more to the story, is what I’m saying. And now you only made it worse!” She held out her hand and had the kindness not to say anything as he held in a moan, wrestling his body to his feet.

“Have you lost your mind? March is a murderer and a rapist—”

“I know, okay? I know. But…let’s just get going. We have to catch up to them.”

“You’re not going anywhere—”

“And you’re not the boss of me!”

He had nothing for a long moment, then, “Actually, I’m exactly that. Your boss. And you’re going to do exactly what I tell you to do.”

Her mouth tightened, but she ran her hands up her arms, unable to hold back a shiver.

Shoot. He reached out and touched her shoulder. “Sorry, Skye. I’m just…”

“Scared?”

Then, “Yeah, okay? I’m…I’m…yeah. Fine. Scared. Stevie could be hurt—even dead for all I know, and…” He turned, his hand around his neck, his breath trembling out. “I can’t believe how royally I screwed this up. I was supposed to get everybody home in one piece. That’s all Jed asked of me, and now…”

He closed his eyes.

“Tucker. You can’t stop bad things from happening. And you don’t need to save everyone.”

“Just for once, I’d like God to be on my side, okay?”

“And why are you assuming that He’s not?”

Tucker rounded on her. “Have you not been paying attention over the past twenty-four hours?”

“Actually, I have. Very much so, and—”

“I just don’t get why God has it out for me.”

“Why do you think this has anything to do with you?”

“Because I was put in charge!” He walked out, away from her. “I don’t get it. I’m a pretty good guy. I usually do the right things—I mean, yeah, once upon a time, I got into a lot of trouble, but I’m not that guy anymore. I follow the rules. And…I was hoping that God paid attention to that.” He started bushwhacking toward the trail.

“Where are you going?” Skye caught up to him.

“I dropped my pack up the trail—I’ve got a blanket, matches—we gotta get warm.”

“Fine—good, but—” She grabbed his arm. “Tucker. Stop. Listen. Why are you assuming that just because bad things happen that God isn’t on your side?”

“Because if He was on my side, then…”

“Then life would be perfect?”

He drew in a breath. “Fine. Okay. I get that things happen. But it feels very personal.”

“Troublealwaysfeels personal. But it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t care about you. That He’s out to get you. In fact, the opposite is true. God deliberately put Himself in the way of the ultimate tragedy to save you. That’s what grace is…and frankly, He uses trouble to show you Himself.”

Tucker frowned.

“You gotta get out of the mindset that God doesn’t want to help you and start believing that ‘goodness and mercy will pursue you all the days of your life.’ Pursue. As in not give up tracking you down. As in relentlessly showing up in your life whether you are a good guy or not.”

Pursue.

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