Page 34 of Astrid at Sea

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” I murmured, shifting uncomfortably on my feet. “I’m just trying to make sense of this strange situation.”

“How about I help you?”

“You’ll tell me?” My tone was sceptical.

Crosby nodded and inhaled sharply. His eyes flitted over my shoulder to admire the sea, but they were back on mine just as quickly as they had left.

“I bet you’re wondering how I got on The Serpent in the first place?” His lips were curled in a ghost of a smile.

I nodded.

Crosby was silent for a moment, staring at the sea. “You were there, weren’t you?”

My eyebrows knitted together. “Where?”

“At my wedding.” H dropped my eyes. “To Chara.”

I nodded.

“She’s pregnant.”

I nodded again.

“I didn’t want to marry her,” he whispered so lowly I wasn’t even sure that’s what he had said. “I didn’t want to marry Chara, but I was forced to go through with it. Everyone told me it was the proper thing to do.” He dropped to the ground at my feet, crossing his legs to get comfortable. I wasn’t sure what was going through his mind or what he wanted, but I sat before him to keep the playing field level.

“I didn’t know I was going to do it,” he whispered, his voice even quieter than before. “Days leading up to it, I didn’t know I was going to sneak onto The Serpent. I didn’t plan it. One moment, I was helping Chip load some jars of honey onto the ship, and the next, I was moving those barrels to the corner and hiding behind them, waiting for everyone to leave and for the ship to start moving. To start moving away from land, from Jorvik, but most importantly, from Chara and that baby she claims to be mine.”

I held back a gasp. “What are you saying?”

He answered me with a pointed look.

“Are you insinuating that you’re not the father of Chara’s baby?”

“Yes,” he sighed but then shook his head. “No,” he denied, burying his face in his hands seconds before I saw a lone tearrolling down his face. “I don’t know,” he groaned, and when he lifted his head, a waterfall of tears streamed down his face.

I gulped and watched Crosby with wide eyes. I had never seen him like this before.

So lost.

So sad.

So broken.

Crosby had always been pleasant and had a way of looking at the positive side of things. He always tried to find the good in everything, but it appeared that all that had changed now.

If this were someone else, if this weren’t the same Crosby that proposed to me and blown his top when I accepted Viktor’s offer of marriage over his, I would have done more to comfort him. If this was someone else, I would have hugged and held them until the tears stopped. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Not with Crosby.

“Did you ask her?” It was an obvious question, but it needed to be asked. People never thought to ask the otherwise obvious question when they were as distraught as Crosby was right now.

“I tried,” he sniffled. “But every time I try to ask her about it, she turns it into an argument and refuses to answer the question. If that isn’t her admitting that I’m not the father of the child growing inside of her, I don’t know what is.”

“Maybe,” I murmured, my lips tugging into a frown. “Or maybe she’s hurt by your question and thinks you shouldn’t even have to ask such a thing.”

“Whose side are you on?” Crosby snapped at me, but the anger quickly fizzled away at the startled expression on my face. “Sorry, Astrid. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

I shook my head and pursed my lips, choosing not to hold a grudge.

“I’m not on anyone’s side, Crosby,” I told him. “I’m just trying to make you see how things might look from her point of view.”

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