Page 79 of Viktor at Sea

Okay, perhaps I felt a tad bit remorseful for Crosby as he seemed to have been roped into this. But then again, neither of them would have been in this mess if they had been careful and he hadn’t gotten her pregnant in the first place.

Chara, on the other hand, I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad for.

Another good thing about their wedding was that Gustav baked a delicious jam cake for dessert. I checked with Gustav to ensure there were no nuts in the cake, and I tasted it myself before Astrid grabbed a slice. She laughed, finding my actions endearing, but I couldn’t take the risk. If she had reacted badly because there were nuts in the cake and I had failed to notice, I never would have been able to forgive myself.

After the cake, Astrid joined the dance floor with some of her friends. She invited me to join them, but I respectfully declined. Instead, I snuck myself another slice of cake when Gustav wasn’t looking and resorted to watching my wife dance the night away.

She certainly wasn’t the most graceful woman out on the dance floor, not by a long shot. But she was the only woman that captivated my attention. Our eyes occasionally met as she danced freely with her friends, more focused on enjoying themselves than looking graceful–the fact that they were all married already was a good thing as I couldn’t picture any of them, Astrid included, being able to attract a husband tonight with those dance skills–and my lips twitched higher at the corners with each passing second until I was grinning so hard my face hurt.

I had really lucked out with Astrid. She was everything I could ask for in a wife and so much more! Not only was she loving–that wasn’t the same as her being in love with me–but she was also attentive. It often felt like she could read my mindwith how well she knew me. She didn’t just feel like my lover or my friend, but my soulmate, and once again, I thanked the higher power for blessing me with the chance to spend the rest of my life with her by my side.

I honestly don’t know what I would have done with myself if Astrid rejected my proposal. I was immensely grateful that Astrid agreed to marry me, but now I felt like I was throwing all of that in her face by concealing the truth from her.

What was wrong with me? Why hadn’t I told her the truth already? I was only wasting time I didn’t have by not telling her the truth as Barden wanted me to set sail in five days. Well, three days now.

I knew Astrid would want to know, that she would want me to be honest with her, even if it hurt her, so why couldn’t I bring myself to say anything? Why did I clam up every time I tried to break the news to her?

I was only wasting time here by not telling her the truth! She would be so much angrier when she found out I’d kept this from her this whole time instead of savouring our time together before I had to leave.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A voice sounded behind me. I didn’t need to glance over my shoulder to confirm who it was.

I knew that voice anywhere.

“You owe me so much more than a penny,” I huffed and finished the last of my cake.

“I’m sorry for how things played out that night, Viktor,” Barden sighed. “I was too harsh. Too cold. I wish I had been gentler in my speech.”

“That wouldn’t have changed anything,” I snorted.

“Maybe not, but perhaps you would have taken the news better.”

“I doubt it.”

“Anyway, things are looking good. Really good,” Barden said even though I wasn’t in much of a listening mood right now. “Odin and Garth are pretty much done with the map. We just need to cross-check it against the letter that we received from the Chief of Greenland…” his voice trailed off, and he looked like he was gearing himself to ask for more from me. “I would appreciate it if you could look at it as well. We could do with your insight.”

I pursed my lips and sighed. “I’ll swing by tomorrow. Are we still looking at three months?”

“It’s looking more like four,” he answered. “We have enough provisions to last you all four months at sea. We’ll be working to load it all onto the ship tomorrow, but I wanted to check if you’ve already told Astrid about it before we move forward with all of this.”

“No, I haven’t,” I said in a small voice, shaking my head.

“You need to tell her. I hate to put you in this position, but if you don’t tell her soon, she’ll probably hear it from someone else. Maybe even her parents. People are going to notice tomorrow when we start loading the ship with all the provisions.”

My jaw clenched. “I’ll tell her tomorrow.”

“I hope so,” Barden murmured, no doubt sensing my indecision and hesitation. “The only thing we seem to have issues with is the little rowboat Chip was working on. I don’t quite know the ins and outs of it, but he said something about needing more time to work on the mechanics.” He shrugged.

“And if the mechanics aren’t finished on time, the rowboat will be more work than it’s worth,” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “I’ll find Chip tomorrow and discuss it with him. Maybe there’s a way around which we could use temporarily, and he can continue working on the issue when we get back.”

“Thanks, Viktor. I really appreciate it,” Barden sighed in relief.

I didn’t care what Barden appreciated or didn’t appreciate. Not right now, anyway, but I didn’t voice that aloud. Not when I was already in such a sour mood and didn’t trust my tongue to be mindful when speaking to the Chief. Just because we were close, closer than most islanders were with their Chief, didn’t mean I could go around wagging my tongue as I wished. Even if he did deserve it for putting me in this situation.

Why couldn’t he have waited a few months before springing this on me? Why did this one have to be so long? Why did he have to play the power card when he should have just given me some time to sleep on it?

I hated to admit it, but I knew myself. I would have given in eventually. And what was even worse was that I knew Astrid would have understood. She wouldn’t want me to turn down this opportunity even if the timing was terrible.

“I hope you haven’t changed your mind, Viktor,” Barden said, looking worried and displeased.

---