Page 44 of Viktor at Sea

“I’m not going to lie to you, Astrid,” I started, willing my voice not to falter. “I have slept with a few women while I was away at sea and before moving to Jorvik. I have also slept with a few women while being at Jorvik.”

Astrid pursed her lips and turned her face away from me. Even though she refused to look at me, I didn’t miss the tremble of her bottom lip as she gazed down at a sleeping Kis. My first instinct was to reach out and pull her into my arms, to comfort her, and to assure that none of those women before her couldand would ever compare to her or mean anything to me. My heart didn’t beat for any of them like it did for her, but I resisted. Whatever issues and insecurities Astrid had with my somewhat colourful past, I wanted to deal with now rather than later.

“How do I know that after we get married, and you go out on your next mission, you’re not going to bed another woman?” She asked in a small voice.

“Because I didn’t know I loved you then,” I admitted. “I know I love you now, and other than the night I returned and bedded Chara and Erlene, I haven’t slept with any other women. Even then, it was your face I pictured when I was with them,” I told her, but Astrid still refused to reach my eyes. “Do you trust me, Astrid?”

She nodded, the warm flush of her cheeks not lost on me.

“Do you believe me?”

She nodded again.

“If you trust and believe me, then you must know that I will never look at another woman ever again,” I leaned over to whisper the words to her, my lips brushing against her earlobe. “And you must know that since I have been back, since that first night, I have not looked at another woman how I have looked at you. I have not thought of another woman how I think about you, and I vow I never will.”

When she didn’t say anything, I knew she already knew.

Just like me, she was having a hard time accepting that we could be something more. I knew that feeling all too well because I was the same at the beginning, but now I was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with her.

“I trust and believe you,” Astrid whispered to me. “Father says you are the most trustworthy man he knows.”

“I’m not looking to marry your father,” I joked, battling the urge to dip my face a little lower and press a soft kiss to the side of her neck.

“I hope not,” she laughed, but the sound quickly grew serious. “What are we going to do about Crosby?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, the smile slowly slipping off my face as I held my breath.

“You have both proposed to me, and I can only agree to one.”

“You can agree to none if you wish to,” I pointed out, hating the foul taste the words put in my mouth. More than anything, I wanted Astrid to accept my offer of marriage and become my wife. However, if that wasn’t what she wished–whether that be marrying Crosby or no one at all–then so be it. The only thing I wanted for Astrid was happiness, and I would force myself to accept it if she truly believed she would be happier without me. Don’t get me wrong, I would do my damn best to prove to her that I was the man for her, but I wouldn’t force her.

“I guess that’s some food for thought,” Astrid murmured and moved to stand. “It’s late, and I should head to bed if I want to get some sleep tonight. You should do the same.”

“I’ll see you in the morning?” I asked, unable to keep the desperation from my voice as I rose to my feet and watched her walk up the steps.

“We’ll see about that,” she grinned and stilled on the top step.

When she didn’t move for several moments, my eyebrows furrowing together, I called out to her in concern. “Astrid? Is something wrong?”

Astrid nodded stiffly. “Yes.”

Before I could ask her what was wrong, Astrid swiftly turned to face me once again. In fear that she would fall down the steps and hurt herself, I held out my arms and circled them around her waist. But instead of Astrid falling to the ground, her lips fell on mine as she stole a surprise goodnight kiss.

My body froze as I stared up at her face, unable to believe that her lips were pressed against mine and she was kissing me right now. I had barely snapped out of the shock when mylips parted to welcome her wet tongue, but she pulled away far too soon. A soft giggle escaped her before she swivelled on the balls of her feet and rushed into the hut, gently closing the door behind her.

I stood outside the Skau hut for the longest time, wonderstruck and in disbelief.

Did that really just happen?

Had Astrid Skau just kissed me?

When I licked along my bottom lip and tasted the mint of her toothpaste, I knew it was real.

Astrid had kissed me of her own accord!

There was an added skip in my step as I headed back to my hut for the night, unable to keep the big grin off my face. I felt so much lighter and freer than I had ever felt before.

Astrid had confirmed that she didn’t love me back yet, but she had given me hope that one day, she possibly could. That was enough for me to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow with a large, cheesy grin on my face.

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