Page 29 of Viktor at Sea

What was I thinking?

Of course, it was too soon!

Giving her flowers and cooking lunch for her and her cat wouldn’t magically erase my shortcomings and poor manners from the past few years. She wouldn’t see the ring and me down on one knee and magically forget all the explosive arguments we’ve had or the way I nearly got her father killed.

What if I read all the signs wrong?

What if Astrid didn’t feel any romantic feelings toward me? What if she wasn’t the least bit inclined toward me?

What if she was offended by my offer of marriage?

If she rejected me, I would be damned to a lifetime without her.

I had an abundance of money as I earned quite a bit from my work as Captain of The Serpent and didn’t have anyone to spend it on, but I knew Astrid didn’t care about money. Like her family, she valued love over money. How could I be fool enough to believe that a woman as spectacular as her would fall for a man like me?

Why would she love me? I had never done anything to be worthy of her love.

Many a time on the short walk over to the Skau hut, I was tempted to turn around, but I stopped myself every time.

It was now or never.

If I didn’t propose to Astrid now, then I would never again be able to muster up the courage to propose to her, and that would damn me to a lifetime of unhappiness and disappointment. And I would have no one but myself to blame for it.

The conflicting thoughts tortured me until I found myself standing outside the Skau hut just like the other morning. It was still early, and she was probably still asleep, but I couldn’t bring myself to wait a moment longer. If I did, I feared I would back down like a coward and by the time I built up the courage again to propose to her, it would be too late.

There were two ways things could happen. One: Astrid could reject my proposal because she didn’t love me, and I would be forced to spend the rest of my life miserable, alone and heartbroken without her, but at least she would be happy. And two: she could actually say yes which would make me the happiest man alive.

Either way, I could never blame myself for trying.

With a pebble in my hand, I stroked my thumb over the smooth edge of it and sent up a silent prayer. I threw it at her closed window shutters with perfect aim, and the shutters opened before I could reach for a second pebble.

“Viktor!” Astrid whispered harshly, leaning over the edge of her window to glare at me.

As soon as I heard the shutters open, I bent down on one knee, flipped open the lid of the box and held it up for her to see. My mother’s emerald ring sparkled in the morning sun. The oval gem was lined with tiny gems, sitting on top of a gold band. It was a family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation, and the only woman I wanted to have it was the woman currently looking at me like I had gone crazy.

It felt like a lifetime had passed before Astrid said anything.

“What are you doing, Viktor?” She gasped, breaking the silence.

“I have loved you for years, Astrid. If I wasn’t so proud and blind, I would have admitted my love for you a long time ago. Instead, I chose to suppress my feelings and torture the both of us,” I began, gulping hard and trying my best to ignore my clammy hands. In my entire life, even under the most stressful situations, my hands had never felt clammy before, yet they were now. “I know you’ve disliked me from the start, and things kind of spiralled from there, but I can’t deny my feelings for you anymore,” my voice shook as I spied the unshed tears in her eyes. From all the way down here, I couldn’t decipher whether those were happy tears or melancholy ones. Either way, my heart squeezed painfully tight to watch her cry. “I have loved you, Astrid, for many, many years, and I cannot suppress my feelings for you any longer. I love you. I wish to spend the rest of my life by your side.”

I held up the ring box a little higher to show off the ring.

“It was my mother’s,” I told her with a small, nervous smile. “I didn’t bring much with me when I moved to Jorvik, but I brought my family ring. My parents, especially my mother, wanted me to propose to the love of my life with this ring as generations of Thostensons had done before me. And Astrid, as my one true love, this ring belongs on your finger,” I professed, staring up at her with watery eyes.

I furiously blinked back the tears, desperate to see her face clearly when I finally asked the life-changing question.

“Astrid Victoria Skau,” I called out her name. The irony that her middle name was so similar to my first name was not lost on me. It used to irk me before but now it just felt like fate. “Will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

Several moments passed, and Astrid didn’t say anything.

With each passing second, fear crawled up my body and wrapped its bony hands around my throat, slowly but surely cutting off my air supply.

Before Astrid could answer me, or the fear of rejection could kill me, another person dropped to one knee beside me.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“Astrid,” Crosby called out to her, his voice loud and booming. Overconfident. “I have come here to propose to you.”

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