Page 79 of Untouchable Player

I don’t realise Nate’s looking at me until he asks if I’m okay.

“Yeah,” I think about leaving it there, but I trust him, and the thought of talking about this shit is scary, but I know I need to, “I think I told myself I couldn’t be gay because of what my dad would think about it. But the more I think about it, the more obvious it was.”

“Because of the Cher thing?”

I snort, “not that.”

“Sorry, I was kidding.”

“I know.”

I must fall asleep while the movie is still on. When I open my eyes, the credits are rolling and Nate’s warm arm is pressed against mine.

“I thought that was your favourite movie?” he looks down at me, grinning.

“I’ve seen it like a thousand times, and I had a few beers. Did you like it?”

“Yeah, you’ll make a Cher fan of me yet.”

I snort. “You liked her already, don’t lie. Everybody loves Cher.”

I yawn, my whole body begging to be stretched. As soon as I’ve finished, Nate kisses me. My mouth tastes sour and I pull away.

“What’s wrong?”

“I need to brush my teeth.”

“There’s a spare in my bathroom.”

The last time I was in this bathroom, nothing had even happened between me and Nate and I was shy about being naked in his shower. Is that when it started? When he saw me in a towel? I try not to think about what he really sees in me as Iunpack a new toothbrush and squeeze out some toothpaste. All of Nate’s things look expensive. The brands I don’t even bother looking at at the drug store just casually sitting there on the sink. I ask myself what I’m doing here, then I go into the bedroom and Nate smiles at me and I stop asking.

Nate

After we watchedMermaidsand gave each other a quiet hand job, I hope Jesse knows that we can do stuff at my house while my parents are there. He doesn’t have to wait until we have the house to ourselves.

When he comes over the next afternoon after class, I take him straight upstairs and practise giving blow jobs on him. I’m still not sure if he’s worried about coming in my mouth, or if he’s just saying that so I won’t realise how bad I am at it.

I come up and kiss him and he grasps my hair and presses his hips up against mine.

“Jesse,”

“Mm? Why did we stop kissing, come back.”

“Do you want to fuck me?”

He opens his eyes, “uh… doyouwant me to?”

I nod, then remember what he’s like with all the verbal confirmation stuff. “Yes.”

“Okay.”

Okay.My heart starts thumping.

I sit up and open the drawer beside my bed before dumping a brand new tube of lube and an unopened box of condoms on the bed between us.

“We don’t have to do it right now.”

“I want to, I’m ready.”

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