Page 70 of Untouchable Player

“Are you gonna, you know… fuck?”

“I don’t know, we’ll see what happens.”

“Do you still want to?”

“Yes. But I’m kind of scared.”

Katie nods. “That’s normal. You know you can change your mind at any time.”

“I know that.”

“It doesn’t matter if he minds or not or if he’s pissed off, he’ll just have to deal…”

“I know.”

She stops talking and I squeeze her arm, “thank you.”

I leave her at her building and head towards the engineering department around the other side. I have a Chemistry for Engineering class on sustainable chemistry and then the afternoon is free.

Usually, I would hole myself up in the library with a stack of books until it gets dark or I get hungry, whichever one comes first. But Professor Russell’s words are still ringing in my ears.

When I get out of class, I text Jesse to see what time he’s coming back and when he says he’s already here, I reply before I can think too hard about it.

‘Want to do something?’

‘Now?’

‘When you’re free’

‘Sure. How about that ice skating?’

‘At your ice rink?’

‘No, the public one, on East Street, like ten minutes along the river from the life science building.’

‘Sure’

‘Let me just take a quick shower and I’ll come and meet you wherever you are.’

I arrange to meet him at the Life Sciences building and find a quiet spot to read while I wait.

My face is burning, thinking about the last conversation we had. I’ve never had phone sex before and it was really hot, but now I have to look him in the eye. It was so much easier when he wasn’t looking at me.

When I think about him telling me exactly how he wanted to fuck me, I want it, really want it, but he sounded like he knew exactly what he was doing and had done it a lot. What if I’m a disappointment? What if it hurts and I have to tell him to stop?

I’m relieved when he shows up on foot. Borrowing my brother’s car would make this ‘date’ – if that’s what it is – awkward.

As soon as I see him walking up the path towards me, my face gets hot, but then he smiles and lowers his head shyly and I relax a little.

We don’t know how to greet each other, so we just stand there awkwardly for a second before Jesse makes the first move.

“Shall we?”

We’re quiet until we reach the bus shelter and I ask about Jesse’s sister’s birthday.

I ask him questions just to hear him talk in that Philadelphia accent and watch him get shy when he realises I’m looking at him.

I’ve never taken this bus before, and the view is actually gorgeous. Not just the view of Jesse sitting beside me. But the view out the window of the lake on our left. The huge evergreens lining the side of the road and the little blue houses nestled amidst them. I’ve been so reluctant to see this college as anything other than a second, or third, choice, that I’ve ignored the fact that living in a college town like this has massive benefits.

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