Page 87 of Untouchable Player

“Mom, please, stop it.”

She puts her hands up, “okay, I’ll stop, be like that, see if I care.”

I snort. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You are.”

Harrison wanders in wearing his boxer shorts and scratching his balls.

“Where’s the OJ?”

“In the fridge honey.”

He gulps it straight from the carton with the fridge door open.

“Harrison, do you know who your brother’s boyfriend is?”

Can the ground swallow me please? Or her?

Harrison puts the orange juice back without even looking at us.

“How the fuck would I know?”

He slams the fridge door shut and tells me I’d better be ready in half an hour if I want a ride back to school.

When we get in the car, Harrison’s phone won’t sync to the stereo.

“Engels must have fucked with my music again.”

Don’t blush, don’t blush, do not blush!

“Nate, fix this will you.”

He tosses his phone at me and it hits me in the chest.

“Ow, fuck.”

“Jesus, calm down, I didn’t hurt you, what’s wrong are you on your period or something?”

“Oh ha ha, very funny, I’m gay so I must get a period.”

“Whoa, did I say it was because you’re gay? Don’t flatter yourself, I use the same insults on everyone, I don’t make special ones up just for you.”

We’re quiet for a minute while I try to hook his phone up to the stereo to distract him. He mutters something under his breath, and when I ask him what he said, he looks like he’s thinking about telling me, but then shakes his head, “nothing,” he says. “And for the record, I don’t care that you’re gay, makes no difference to me.”

His phone syncs and some loud rap song comes on and Harrison’s mood lifts.

“So who’s this boyfriend Mom was talking about anyway?”

Fuck.I never thought I’d have to outright lie to him about Jesse. But it’s not like he ever has to find out, right?

“There is no boyfriend,” that’s technically true, “you know what mom’s like. I was smiling so…”

“smiling means getting dicked down, got it.”

I gasp.

“What? fuck, you’re such a virgin, Mom was totally wrong about you getting laid.”

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