Page 44 of Untouchable Player

“Yep,” I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the door a little too quickly and almost fall out.

“Woah,” Jesse grabs me by the arm and pulls me back and I have to stop myself from pushing him away.

He waits until I get into the house to drive away, and I don’t turn around to wave, but I do stand on the other side of the door, listening for the car pulling out of the driveway

Jesse

Fuck.

All the way back to the party, I couldn’t stop asking myself why I said that to Nate of all people.

We’d just had an amazing, hot as fuck kiss, and if he hadn’t been drunk, I would have totally wanted to do more, if he was up for it, and then I had to go and open my big, stupid mouth.

I know that’s not how bisexuality works and that’s why I don’t call myself bisexual. I don’t identify with anything and I don’t think anyone else would understand how I feel when it comes to sex and who I’m attracted to.

I didn’t mean to be offensive when I said I’d never end up with a guy, but even I know it was. It’s probably for the best. I already broke the bro code by making out with my friend’s brother. Maybe it was a good thing it didn’t go any further, and it never will now.

But I can’t leave things with Nate like this.

Even if he never wants to make out with me again, I’m bound to bump into him at his house or at the occasional hockey game. He’ll probably be safe at the library, and we don’t have classes in the same building, but it’s a small town and we’re bound to cross paths at some point.

The good thing about being designated driver is waking up without a hangover. I can’t imagine Nate will be hangover-free today.

I don’t expect him to ignore me if I text him asking if he wants me to bring over hangover food, but I don’t expect him to say yes either. But I need him to know that I’m not an asshole. An idiot, yes, but not an asshole.

What if I just went over there? I know Jones won’t be there because he and the girl he was having very loud sex with all night last night are still asleep next door, and I can’t see them getting up before this afternoon.

I’m not scared of facing their dad either, and the more I think about it, the less I like the idea of Nate alone, feeling like shit in a house he doesn’t want to be in.

I think about what I crave (and what actually makes me feel better) when I’m hungover and whittle a huge list down to Five Guys fries and grilled cheese sandwiches, and a shit ton of water.

The nearest Five Guys is a thirty-five minute walk or a ten minute drive away, so I leave Jones a note saying,

Borrowed your car, will cook when I get back,

Engels

And just hope he won’t kill me when he wakes up.

I start to think this is a bad idea when I get closer to Nate’s house and see the big roof poking out from the trees. At least there’s no cars parked up on the driveway when I pull up. I think about calling Nate, just to check he’s actually home, but if he tells me not to come, then what am I supposed to do with all this food? Well, I could bring it back to the house, but no, fuck that, I’m going to apologise to Nate and not let him be alone.

I ring the doorbell and try to ignore the sound of my heart beating in my ears while I wait to see if anyone will answer.

No answer. I ring the bell again. Wait a few minutes.

Finally, there’s a shape behind the frosted glass in the door.

When Nate opens the door, I’m taken back by the sight of him in his PJs. His hair messy.

He looks half asleep like I just woke him up and when he realises it’s me and not a delivery guy, he starts trying to smooth down his hair and I have to stop myself from smiling. I still fuckedthings up, and I still shouldn’t be anywhere near my teammate’s brother, not when I’ve made out with him already and am thinking about doing it again, especially when he’s looking like that.

“I brought food,” I hold the Five Guys bag up and hope he doesn’t slam the door in my face.

He opens his mouth and doesn’t say anything for a second, “I… thanks.”

Nate turns around and walks back into the house and I follow him and close the door.

“Are you home alone?”

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