Page 9 of So Special: Fanatic Love

“Ma’am, did you plan to mess with him when you did and make my little highly active grandson?” she taunted. “I just want to know, because based on the story you told me, that was a number one fan experience.” A week after I told my parents I was pregnant, I gave my mother the real story of what happened.I should have never told her ass.My mother was also my best, older, wiser friend. “I’ll assume you got the paternity test results back and they were as you knew they would be.”

My face contorted to her question. I took a seat at the island so I could see Ashtan in his play space in the living room. “Of course they were. I know who my baby’s father is.”

“I’m just asking because I know the jittery feeling of taking a paternity test. You can know without a shadow of a doubt who your child’s father is, but that feeling is still there.” Her statement had me momentarily stuck. It implied that she had apaternity test done on me. When I asked her, she said, “I sure did when your daddy’s mother popped up like a demon. You know your stupid, dusty head granny doesn’t like me. I didn’t want to give her any reason to send her up yonder.”

I hated the loudness of the laughter that I let out, but she was right. My daddy’s mother hated my mother. It was weird because my daddy and his mother were never close. He was raised by his father who I adored. The story that was told to me was that his mother popped back up when he was in his late teens and wanted to be a part of his life. My parents already had me since they were teen parents. My grandmother blamed my mother for my father never truly taking much of an interest in getting closer to her.

Plus, my grandmother thought my mother was a young whore since she had me at fifteen. I’ve been around my grandmother a handful of times. She wasn’t my favorite person either because of the blatant disrespect I’ve witnessed her show toward my mother. I could see if my mother had ever done anything to her or was a subpar mother, but she wasn’t.

“Hey, my favorite girls.” My dad greeted us when he came into the kitchen. He gave each of us a forehead kiss. It wouldn’t be long before Ashtan realized he was in here and came running. “What y’all in here talking about?” he inquired after he retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator. My mother peeked at him, then put her eyes back on her Kindle.

“We were talking about your dusty head mama and the paternity test results.”

My father spit his water out. He stood next to my mama and peered down at her. “Raylen, I’m not about to play with you today.” He turned his head to face me. “Asher is Ashtan’s daddy?” When I nodded, he smiled. “Have you two spoken since the results?”

“No, we haven’t. I figured that he would reach out to me when he was ready.” I lifted my shoulders toward my ears. “He’s the one that wanted to be in his life.”

My father came over to where I sat, then placed his lips on my cheek. “Mind your passive aggressive attitude, Katniss. Asher didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, you did by blocking him from being in Ashtan’s life since birth.”

He walked off into the living room and called out to my son. I watched Ashtan get up to jump around at the sight of his granddaddy. My father’s reprimand hit me in a sore spot. When I told him I was pregnant and wasn’t going to tell Asher, he told me then that I was wrong, but never spoke of it again. To hear him say it again was a blow that I knew I deserved.

“Hey,” my mother called out. When I gave her my attention, she smiled. “I promise everything will be alright. Yes, you should have told him, but now Ashtan has a bigger village.” Her smile was reassuring. “Go upstairs and take a nap.”

I needed one because it was a night full of deliveries. Six babies were born tonight, one with complications. I loved what I did for a living. Becoming a labor and delivery nurse was the best life decision and adding on the doula certification made it mean more. When I was pregnant with Ashtan, I had a doula, and I loved her. She became my trainer and showed me everything that I know. I still went to her for guidance when I needed it.

“Alright, I’m going to jump in the shower first,” I told her. My room hadn’t changed much since I moved out of my parents’ house. When I had Ashtan, I stayed here for a few months until I moved into my bigger apartment. I kept clothes here for myself just in case I needed to stay after a late shift. Ashtan had his own room here with a lot of his own stuff.

I smiled at my father play wrestling with my son. If Ashtan wasn’t anything else, he would be a roughhoused little boy. My father made sure of it. After I gathered everything that I needed,I went to the hall bathroom. The shower was so amazing that I felt like I would fall asleep in it. The second I got back into my room, I sat on my bed with the towel wrapped around me to take a breath. A video call came in and I answered before I looked to see who it was.

“Damn, baby mama! You sexy right out da shower, but I kno dat,”Asher said as soon as the call connected. His bright smile that showed off his straight teeth made my middle wet.“I assume you got da results like I did, so when you wanna meet so we ca talk?”

Today his locs sat on top of his head in a man bun. It looked like he just left the barbershop because his lineup was fresh.Damn, my baby daddy is fine, fine!“If you’re free later we can get together. I just got off work not too long ago, so I’m about to go to sleep.”

The bridge of his nose scrunched.“I ain’t know you work at night. Where my son be at when you at work?”

I rolled my eyes before I spoke.“That makes sense that you didn’t know since you don’t know my work schedule. I don’t always work third shift, but I have to a few times a month.”I shifted my body on my bed to get more comfortable.“When I work late nights, my son…”He corrected my wording of Ashtan just being my son and not ours.“As I was saying, our son stays with either my parents, my best friend, Daisy, or on certain occasions the day care.”

He nodded his head, then tilted it.“Yeah, I ain’t like dat occasionally stayin at da day care. We ca talk bout dat later. You ca come to my crib wit lil man, if dat cool wit you.”

“Um, I guess that’s fine. What time were you thinking?”I asked. When he suggested six-thirty, I told him that would be fine.“I guess I’ll see you then, Asher.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you, love. Make sure you safe on dat road when you comin here,”he said before we said our goodbyes and disconnected the call.I have a child with Asher Kane Wilson. Wow!

Six-thirty came fasterthan I wanted it to. Asher sent me his address about fifteen minutes after we got off the phone. I took my nap, woke up, and let my parents know what was going on. My father made me share my location with him.He might be Asher Kane Wilson, pro footballer, but if he fuck with you, he’ll be Asher Kane Wilson, dead footballer.My father was crazy when it came to me, my mama, and now his grandson.

I wasn’t surprised at all that Asher lived in a high-rise in uptown Charlotte. He told me that I was added to the list to come up, so after I gave the building attendant my name, he buzzed me into the secondary door that led to the elevators. Nervous was not a strong enough adjective to describe how I felt as I rode the elevator up. Ashtan was too busy trying to press the buttons. When the elevator doors opened on the designated floor, I took a deep breath before I stepped off. Naturally, Ashtan wanted to walk, so I put him down.

Before I could knock on the door it came open.Jesus, be a panty liner.He stood in front of me in a wife beater, gray sweatpants, and house shoes. He had a scarf around his locs, but I still saw the top of his bun. “Wha going on?” Ashtan used his little hand to push Asher to the side or at least he tried to. “Oh, shit!”

Me and Asher laughed when Ashtan pushed past him. Asher moved to the side to let me in, then closed and locked the door behind me. “Sorry about that. He can be demanding at times,”I said before I grabbed Ashtan who had picked up the remote control. My father taught him how to turn the television on at their house, so he thought he could do it everywhere.

“You ain’t gotta apologize fa my boy. He get it from e daddy,” Asher said with a wink. “I think you know just how demanding I ca be though.” I rolled my eyes before I took the remote from Ashtan who showed his ass in my arms. “Aye, lil man. Wha wrong?”

Asher pulled Ashtan from my arms who still whined but settled down a bit. “Lemme get da remote.” I placed the remote in his hand when he reached for it. “Wha he like ta watch?”

“Um, he lovesGracie’s Corner.” I sat down on the couch. My heart warmed as I watched them interact with each other. Asher talked to Ashtan like they were the same age. Ashtan just looked at him and babbled baby words. “You can sit him on the floor, and he will sit still while we talk. He won’t move,” I told Asher.

He looked at me, Ashtan, then down at the floor. “Nah, he ca sit on the couch. I ga get some mats for da floor for him. I ain’t want him sittin on that hard ass wood floor like dat.” He sat Ashtan on the couch who was already zoned into his favorite show.

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