Page 36 of So Special: Fanatic Love

My heart dropped the minute the words left my mouth, and my eyelids expanded.I can’t believe I just said that.His eyes turned to slits. “Yeah, get the fuck out my shit. The route thatyou’re going, your ho ass ain’t too far off from Porsha. Only good for pussy, ass, and mouth. Get the fuck on, Daisy.”

His words stung for some reason. I didn’t want to be anywhere around him anymore. Fuck my clothes. I left his room in the T-shirt that I had on. Once my keys that were on the kitchen island were in my hand, I put my slides on and was out the door.Fuck Zane Hershel Anderson.

A Few Days Later…

Katniss’s expression was soft after I told her about the travesty of a time that happened the other night. She had been busy for the past few days with work, doula patients, motherhood, and being a girlfriend. I was so happy for her. It was close to the end of the day. Her shift was over, so we were in my office. “Daisy, you didn’t say that to him. Please tell me that you just thought that.”

My head fell. “No, I said it out loud.” When my head lifted, tears rimmed my eyes. “I was so mad. I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted to hurt his feelings like he hurt mine.”

“Okay, best friend, you were wrong.” I started to defend myself, but she lifted her finger to silence me. “He was wrong, too, Daisy. You both owe each other an apology.” Katniss sat back on the couch that was on the wall in my office. “Daisy, why are you so against being with Zane?”

I tilted my head with an arched brow. “Um, because he’s a male whore. That’s a stupid question, Kat. You know like I know that he fucks whoever is fucking that day.”

“I hate to burst your bubble, but according to my baby, Zane stopped fucking with other females after y’all fucked like thethird time.” Now her brow matched mine. “Don’t tell him I told you that. He’ll know that me and Asher pillow talk about him and you.”

Her confession about Zane caught me off guard. “I don’t believe that. Maybe he’s just more discrete than he was before.”

“You really think Zane has a reason to be discrete, Daisy?” she inquired skeptically. “Zane has never cared about what anyone said about his sexual escapades. Why would he all of a sudden care? Hell, it seemed like the more the blogs talked about him, the more bitches wanted him.” She paused to drink from her cup that was on the table next to the couch. “So, you stopped fucking with niggas, and he stopped fucking with bitches. You two only fuck with each other.

“Doesn’t that sound like two people that want to try something out but just didn’t want to say the words?” She sat there like she was Iyanla and just fixed my life. Give a bitch a man and she becomes them folks on the panel ofTonight’s Conversations. “Now, I’m going to ask you one more time. Why are you scared to be with Zane? It’s clearly something that you’ve never made me privy to, best friend.”

She was right. It was something that I never discussed after the day it happened in college. I had always been the type of person that you only had to make a fool of once and I was good on you. I thought about the man that changed the route of my love map all those years ago.Derrick.“No man will ever make a fool of me again. I loved once and he made a complete fool of me. Derrick had me out here looking like a ditzy Dora.

“His ass didn’t have shit, and it seemed like I was fighting a heifer every other day because they wanted to let me know that they were fucking my man,” I told her. “Imagine the bitches that would be in my face overtheZane Hershel Anderson.”

I met Derrick in my second semester of freshman year. He wasn’t a classmate of mine. He was just a dude from around thenearby neighborhood. That was when I was in my bad girl era and wanted to date the dope boys. He did all the things to make me think I was his one and only. Everyone knew that I was his girl, but that didn’t stop bitches from being on him and him on them.

After I finished my rant about Derrick, Katniss sat there quietly. “Yes, we have similar experiences with a man having a baby on us.” My shoulders lifted. “Well, in my case it was three. At least you had enough sense to leave after baby number one. When I confronted him that last time, he told me if I didn’t like it, I could kick rocks. That’s exactly what I did.”

“I get it,” Katniss said at the conclusion of my story time. “Daisy, you can’t put all men into one boat. Yes, Zane was out there, but clearly, he’s found something worth slowing down for.”

My shoulders met my ears. “Perhaps, but after that exchange the other night, he can kiss my ass.” I would stand on that because it was a major fuck him.

Katniss giggled. “I swear you are too much sometimes. I still think both of you should apologize.” She saw that I turned off my computer which meant I was ready to head out. “Daisy, you don’t want it to be awkward when we’re all together.”

My neck snapped in her direction. “Why would it be? I determine the day and kind of interactions that I want to have with people.” With a cutesy smile, I commented, “You know I’m rainbows and sprinkles over here.”

Katniss’s lips went into a straight line before she guffawed. “Girl, come the hell on, so we can get to Mama Lina house. I’m not about to play with you.”

Lately, I had been spending a lot of time at Katniss’s place. I loved her condo, and we decorated the third bedroom for me. When we got off within an hour of each other, we rode to worktogether. We were economically responsible. “Maybe if the Lord moves me, I’ll apologize.”

We jumped on the elevator to get to the parking garage where Katniss parked. It was a little after seven. Technically, I should have left the office hours ago, but I flexed my schedule often. There was a lot of autonomy with my position luckily. As long as I was there when I needed to be and met my deliverables, these folks didn’t care much. One of the other administrators only came into the office once a week and for mandatory meetings. This was not a remote position.

“What the fuck!” Katniss’s voice echoed in the parking structure. “Who the…How the!”

My hand covered my mouth at the sight of the window smashed out of her car, all the tires flat, andwhorespray painted on the side. Who would be stupid enough to do this? “Okay, so somebody wants to die.”

Katniss

I, Katniss Raven Roland, am the girlfriend and child’s mother of Asher Kane Wilson. Never in a million years would I think that I would be those things to the player that I had obsessed over for years. I knew everything about this man from a football point of view. Now I know so much more. The universe was a funny but sometimes pleasant heifer.

Since we chose to make things official, we had been out and about in these Charlotte streets. Sometimes we were out with Ashtan and other times we were not. The blogs had a field day when the pictures were posted on Asher’s page from Ashtan’s first birthday. The birthday party was nothing out of the norm for the blogs to report on. It was the picture of Asher behind me with his arms wrapped around me and his lips on my neck. The caption was the icing on the cake:My lil one.

Oh, and the sex! Damn. My man…Our sex was nasty—sexy. After we had sex for the first time, again, I went to the doctor to ensure my birth control was top notch. I did not want another baby right now. Also, when Asher made it a point to let me know that he would not pull out at any time, I knew pregnancy prevention was on me. I let him know that another baby would not be ejected from this vagina until my last name was changed.

Me, Daisy, and Tiara were served with the documents to let us know that Penny’s ho ass planned to move forward with the charges against us. That bitch made my ass itch. I had to block her on social media because her ass continued to comment on my page and Asher’s. When thelil onepicture was posted, you would have thought that she lost her damn mind. I couldn’t believe that she was married.

Outside of the social media bullshit, it had been pretty mellow until today. I stood there frozen as I gawked at my SUV with an agaped mouth. My SUV was ruined. I didn’t have the words to formulate what I felt, but the tear that fell told it all. I worked so hard to get my SUV when I found out I was pregnant with Ashtan.

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