Page 32 of Karrington

“That makes sense. I value quality time so much because my time is so limited and so was my father’s. The time he spent with me and Ma was special, you know? He was very intentional with making sure she knew she was loved, and that’s what I’mgoing to do with you. When we spend time together, it means the world to me.”

“That’s why you were avoiding me in the beginning?”

He chuckled and bobbed his head. “Yes. I knew if I spent time with you, I’d fall in love with you, and I wasn’t ready for that.”

“And now?”

“I am. I told you that. I know you have to see it, though.”

“I do. We’ve made really great progress. I guess I’m just still a little scared because I don’t know how taking away arranged marriages will trigger you. Like… what if you do that and resent me because you can’t be with Lulu?”

“You want the truth?”

“Always.”

“My plan was to demolish arranged marriages and divorce you so I could pursue her.” My heart dropped. “Then I saw my father’s soul leave his body and I realized this wasn’t the life for her. Then I married you and…” His head shook as he leaned forward and extended his hand on top of the table. I put my hand inside. “I realized there was a woman who was a better fit for me. I want you to hear me clearly when I say this. I want to be with you, Eyela Lowe. Even if I had the chance to end our marriage, I wouldn’t. And that’s not to say you don’t deserve a safe marriage like her…”

“I get it,” I said through my giggle. “I think we make good partners because we were born for this—literally. I’m a soft woman but I know what to expect from you and this lifestyle. It doesn’t scare me, and I’ll never judge you because of the things you do or decisions you make. I was scared about this marriage, but I’m proud to be the wife of the boss of all bosses. I’m proud to be the wife of Karrington Lowe.”

Karrington smirked and stood. He walked over to my side of the table and lifted me from my seat. With his arms around my waist, he lowered himself to me for a kiss. When he squeezedmy ass, I could tell it was taking everything inside of him not to pick me up like he usually did. We may have had a rough patch, but I loved where we were now, and I was glad our marriage was arranged, because I don’t think fate would have led us to each other in any other way.

“Tell me your goals and desires,”Karrington said before taking two puffs from his blunt.

We were on our way home from the casino, and I’d enjoyed my night. I was nervous and shy at first, but he made sure I was comfortable and safe. While he played poker I played blackjack, then we met up again at the craps table and had an amazing time. I didn’t smoke often, but when I did, it made me giggly and hungry.

“The plans you have for your future,” he added.

“You already know my desire. I want babies. I hated being an only child. Yes, I was spoiled and had all of my parents’ attention, but it was lonely. It also made it difficult for me to make friends. I think that’s why me and Carma are so close. We grew up like sisters who lived under different roofs. I want to make a difference with my music too. I decided to start my own practice, but I do want to play at hospitals as well. Specifically children’s hospitals. That was where it started for me, and I want to give back.”

“I pray you never have to deal with that again. I would feel so helpless not being able to take that pain from you.”

“Well, it hasn’t come back yet, so I think I’ll be okay. You should know, though, if it does come back, I’m not doing chemo again.”

Karrington shifted in his seat so he could look at me. His head tilted as he stared into my eyes. I tried to hand him the blunt back, but he shook his head.

“What do you mean you aren’t doing chemo again?”

Shrugging, I avoided his eyes. “It takes a toll on the body. It’s worse than the cancer. I just… I can’t do that again. If I couldn’t have surgery, I’d just die.”

He chuckled but it ended in a second as a serious expression covered his face. “You’re joking, right?”

“Baby, I dealt with it five times—”

“I-I hear that. I hear you. It’s just…” His head shook as he continued to stare at me. “I know I can’t change your mind. That would be selfish. But I don’t want to eventhinkabout you leaving me. I’d want you to fight.”

My mouth twisted to the side. “I know. That’s what everyone wants when it’s not them. And who knows? Maybe I would change my mind if I felt I had something to fight for, you know? My family. My children.” I cupped his cheek. “My husband. But right now, I just can’t say I would do it. I still have side effects of the chemo to this day.”

Karrington sighed and lifted my hand to his mouth to kiss. “I get it, and I’ll respect your wishes, whatever they are. We just have to pray it never comes back, because if you left me, I’d have to come to heaven to bring you back.”

With a giggle, I pulled him close for a kiss. I wasn’t expecting our conversation to take that turn, but I was glad he understood where I was coming from and could make light of it. His acceptance made me respect him more. And he was right, we’d just have to pray, because if the cancer ever came back, I honestly didn’t think I’d change my mind.

To end hobby week,I planned a night of Lifetime movies for us to enjoy. We were going to have all of Karrington’s favorite snacks and spend the night in our home theater. While I waited for him to get home for the evening, I was on a group FaceTime with Tina, Faith, Zara, and Mia. All of our personalities were different, but they meshed well.

While Tina was the understanding and supportive one, Faith was indifferent, Zara was a bit combative, and Mia often went against the grain. Our differences often made for lively conversations, and I was glad I’d connected with them over the past seven years.

We were talking about my marriage because they were in disbelief of how well things were going for me and Karrington. I could understand that, but I hated feeling like I had to defend my marriage to anyone,especiallymy friends.

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Tina said. “People use matchmakers all the time. How is having an arrange marriage because of your family any different? It’s not just a mafia thing. People arrange marriages for their kids all the time. What matters most is that she’s happy.”

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