Page 5 of A Touch of Gold and Madness

Kill.

Kill.

Kill.

A mantra on repeat. A war drum of impending death that had me disgusted yet exhilarated. These days, it was getting harder to tell which thoughts were actually mine and what came from the affliction. It didn’t help that my memories were being erased with each passing day, taking the man I once was with it. Not that I’d been all that honorable before…

But right now,hewas louder and chattier than usual—worked up over the girl. A girl who was most peculiar. If I didn’t need her alive, I’d have left her to die in the speakeasy.

The little assassin thought she’d been discreet in following me for the past three weeks. She had no clue about the monster she’d been tailing. I’d felt her…and not the energy of her aura. No, no. I felther. In ways I didn’t usually feel others.

Familiar. That ice-blonde hair was so damn familiar. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to fist it for a fuck or beat it into a wall. But I knew I’d seen that hair.

The strangest thing about her was the fact thathestarted to clear out of my head whenever I was near her. It was part of the reason I hadn’t made a move against her until tonight. I wanted to savor what little peace I could manage while I was able to, without consuming any substances or drinking obscene amounts of moonshine. But time was running out, and I needed to force her hand.

I could’ve taken her after I gifted her thigh one of her blades, but I needed to get my shit together before I did. Had I taken her, I would’ve killed her. And then the plan would be dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Just like…

I screamed, slamming my fist into the wall at the vision of honey-colored eyes and a beaming smile flashing in my mind’s eye.

Don’t forget what’s at stake. What they took from you.

“I don’t need your shitty reminders!” My voice, vicious and deep, boomed off the aluminum walls as I rammed my fist into the deep ridges again and again. I stood stiff and heaving, wanting to hit something else. The gaping dents showed me just how much control I’d lost. There had been a time I could’ve knocked a hole in that wall with my bare fist in a single punch.

I could’ve fixed the wall, but I liked it better broken.

I glared at the almost holes in the wall before me, ignoring the shattered knuckles in my fist.Almost-hole. Almost whole.Like me. How poetic.

Physical pain, I’d take. It was my companion. If I thought it’d work, I’d trade physical agony for eternity over the fracturing of my mind any day.

All that work I’d done on myself. Gone. For nothing.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hide it from everyone. It had to be until Forest was dead and the Kinetics no longer controlled the fate of this world. I could let the cards fall as they may after that. But until then, I had to keep it together.

As if it personally wronged me, I remained glaring at the wall. But then I felt her. A vibration tugged on my heart, followed by a sense of unbridled fear crashing into my chest. The feeling clawed deeper into my mind, knocking me back several steps. Like a tether, it yanked me to the wall. I felt her giving up.

She was dying.

No, not yet, little assassin.

Not till you’ve served my purposes.

Her fear was waning, and in its place came resignation—the hope of freedom.No.

Well, shit. So much for not alerting the conductor of my presence. The energetic signature my magic emitted would be a beacon. Cursing my shaking hands, it seemed to take a fucking eternity to unclasp the black bracelet suppressing my Elemental magic. I basked in the sensation of feeling solid and grounded in the brief moments when my magic returned. Reaching out a hand, I felt for the metal and worked it to my will, blasting out the ceiling of the container above me.

Wind from the high speed of the train rushed me. Cold. Cold like my insides. Like my blood. Like my soul.

Using my magic, I forced dents big enough to form hand and footholds for me to climb to the top. The action helped ease the anxiousness surging through me, putting my body to use instead of leaving my thoughts alone withhim.Scaling my way upward, I pulled myself onto the thin edge and rose with careful balance against the wind’s onslaught.

Damn, I wish I were an air elemental right about now.

The prospect of being thrown to my death didn’t scare me. A part of me longed to be put out of my misery, but I had important shit to accomplish first—starting with saving the little assassin princess against all temptation to snuff out her vibrant life force.

I tight-walked the thin edge of the moving train car, then leaped to the metal box ahead. Dropping into a crouch, I removed my dagger and stabbed it into the metal. I called on my element to weaken the material, making it easier to carve a circular hole large enough to accommodate my frame. Falling through the gap, aluminum clanked against the floor before I dropped in behind it.

I silenced my landing, immediately spotting the unconscious princess sprawled on the makeshift bench against the wall, the pain from the poisoned blade bringing her to the brink of death. My heightened eyesight could see through the darkness enough to spot the ghastly pale hue painting her tanned complexion. Her chest rose and fell in shallow and uneven breaths with a pinched expression of pain on her face.

Kill her.

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