Page 170 of A Touch of Gold and Madness

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Excruciating pain ripped through my soul from a black poison hellbent on overtaking everything within me. It dominated, forcing its will upon me as it sought out every crevice and square inch of my fractured being in a methodical fashion.

My mind remained untouched, but it was only a matter of time before the decaying energies of those I’d depleted dug their steely claws in and stole my memories and entire identity. The evil flourishing in my veins would transform me into something unknown.

I collapsed to my knees with a guttural cry to the sky as the internal flaying engulfed my chest. My vocal cords threatened to shred and disintegrate while my fingertips dug in and clawed at the creases between muscles in my desperate attempt to rip free the blackening poison. Hollow breaths rasped from my burning throat as I dropped my head in defeat. I couldn’t fight my way out of this battle.

Another sharp pain raked through my chest. And with a stilted gasp, my back arched of its own accord as if the blackness consumed and molded me from the inside out.

I struggled to breathe past the pain, sending a silent thanks to the gods that I’d been able to hold on long enough to make the fade away from Gray in time.

I clung to the image of her in my mind. Soft rainbow eyes were hidden behind the hardened wall she’d formed to protect herself from a world that never showed her kindness. Her button nose that always tempted me to kiss it, and her angled jawline that allowed the perfect grip in my palm to tamper down her warring nature. The scent of vanilla and lavender that always seemed imbued in her hair wafted through my senses as if she stood beside me, ready to fight off this inevitable power coursing through my soul.

In the moments after I depleted my mother, I’d never felt more powerful. It was the intoxicating and infallible feeling that I’d been chasing all these years since Peri’s death. In that moment, I thought myself to be the bringer of justice, an archangel sent from heaven to smite the world of the darkness forced upon it. I felt like the god of wrath, all-powerful and all-consuming.

Walking away from Gray and leaving her devastated in the wake of the chaos was the hardest thing I’d ever done. At least she had Slate.

I sucked in a broken breath as the black poison offered me a reprieve. Not wanting to waste any time, I rose to my shaky feet, my legs weakened like jelly while acute pains lanced through my bones and tissues. I embraced the physical pain like an old friend, better than the emotional pain of walking away from Gray.

Already, I felt hollower, like I was missing parts of myself that were crucial to who I was.

Memory flashes of Slate finding me just before I faded out of sight crossed my mind. He’d done well at staying hidden since Gray’s escape from the King’s Palace. As my informant via Hazel from the King’s Palace, as well as Arcadia—where he’d been hiding all this time with an ally powerful enough to open a portal for him to travel to and from—he’d been vital.

There were moments where Gray almost sensed him, but thankfully, he’d been too far away for her to pinpoint. My cousin’s loyalty was unfounded. He protected Gray all the years I couldn’t, all while he tried to uncover Forest and my mother’s motives. He’d done just as I’d asked him to when Forest’s orders of my treatment began to escalate. I saw what was coming, even though I didn’t know the full extent of their plans yet. And I knew it was only a matter of time before they turned to Gray.

Everything worked according to plan until he’d been caught snooping, which led to Forest planning an ambush on the Guilds’ mission that Slate served on. Except, Forest never knew that Slate had been working with me in the shadows for the past year and a half after his “death”.

When he found me before the fade,I slipped him the Mushweed I’d hidden to pass along to Gray, knowing her magic would be completely drained. “Get her back to the Hollow. Guard her with your life. Then, you’re gonna be there for her.”

Slate pierced me with a saddened gaze, knowing what I’d done and the fate I was doomed to. And I trusted him to follow through no matter what it cost him. “I will not be in a relationship with her this time. It would be too cruel after everything she’s been through.”

I shook my head in a nod. “Good because she’smine.” I knew he was also suffering from the loss of his sister due to a pact they’d made with one another long ago. A pact that if one of them were to ever get caught within the king’s grasp, they’d take their own lives to avoid spilling secrets under his torture.

Swallowing thickly before he went on, he said, “Try to fight it. If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

I was born and bred to fight. And I would fight this transformation as long as I could withstand it. I didn’t know what being an Infernal meant, or how much different it was from being Endarkened. But it felt similar to the devolution symptoms. Forest had said I’d keep my mind, but I was already beginning to lose memories.

I held onto Gray, though, clinging to her like a lifeline.

Guilt burned within me alongside the blackness that spread its toxic essence along every bone, muscle, tissue, vein, and cell. But I didn’t regret sending Slate to Gray all those years ago to be close to her; to be her friend, her support, and show her what she was capable of.

I never expected them to fall in love, but she had been happy, and I’d had zero claim on her, seeing as the only time I’d spoken with her was when we were kids. But I’d had to endure her heavy, intense emotions, which were similar to my own. And I couldn’t stand not being able to do anything about it.

Right before I faded, I’d envisioned the tattoo parlor in Macon. Where I stood now, hours south of Buckhead, looked nothing like the tattoo parlor Gray and I once fought at. The wasteland of ash and sand around me indicated my power stretched further than I ever believed possible.

Fucking hell. I did that?

More sharp pains clawed at my chest, working higher and higher until it reached the middle of my throat. I wrapped my fingers around my trachea, half-screaming and groaning at the same time. I stumbled to remain on my feet.

Each wave of pain pulled me further and further away from myself, as the ravenous hunger for more power clouded my vision.

I opened my eyes once the pain receded again, the little breath I had in my lungs freezing on an inhale. Facing a different direction, the view didn’t fit the barren wasteland. It was…otherworldly.

Behind me, sat a dark forest. Even if Macon still stood, the forest shouldn’t exist in that spot. It had once been a busy city, bustling with vehicles and hurried humans. I staggered backward several steps at the eeriness of the wood, the wrongness it exuded.

The sky above was azure and clear of any clouds, yet an unnatural darkness radiated from within. A poison that called to me, coaxing me toward it like I was tethered to its composition. I staggered forward, each harried step harder than the last as I willed myself to the wicked darkness.

The gnarled branches of a tree drooped low, beckoning me to its twisted and blackened ends. The wood curled around itself in an attempt to snuffout all life and light, reminding me of snakes that squeezed their prey to death. Inky fluid seeped from the crevices, dripping down the wood like decaying, foul sap. The dark leaves were almost as pitch as the thick, black substance. With razor-sharp and jagged ends, they dared anyone to touch its malice.

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