Page 116 of A Touch of Gold and Madness

“Oh,” I whispered, breathing out my worries. “That makes sense.”

“Now that things have settled, you can surrender to it. The energy isn’t as volatile now. It wants to workwithyou. Notforyou.”

“Why hasn’t anyone else told me this yet? Orion is an air elemental, right?”

“Well, the bonding is a bit different for air elementals. It’s similar for water elementals, but air is fluid and exists for every living thing in order to function. It’s more sentient than the others. Orion probably assumed you surrendered your control when you bonded because that’s normally how the process works. We’re taught these things growing up. You weren’t, so it makes sense that you wouldn’t know.”

I blew out a breath. “Okay. I want to try.”

Aella beamed a perfect smile. “You can do it right here if you like.” I glanced around the lodge, noting a few Elementals lounging around or ambling past. “Is that safe?”

Her gold-tinted hand covered her mouth to mute the giggle. “It’s fine. It won’t be like before. You just need to return to that place you went before when you bonded with it the first time. We call it the In-Between.”

Breathing in deeply, I adjusted in my seat again, preparing for insanity to erupt, like it did before. I envisioned the same setting I’d experienced the last time: a place of blissful nothingness consisting of a rejuvenating white fog.

Everything happened in a panic before, meaning I couldn’t process the experience. Now that I stood there on my own terms and not under duress, the In-Between felt ethereal. The air was thin and soothing like the aroma of bath salts.

A breeze embraced me, reassuring me with its presence in a hug. I wasn’t sure when the opportune time would be to surrender. Would the air somehow signal it? Would I justknow?

The breeze picked up in speed, my hair whipping across my face. I realized I was overthinking, and that was the point of this exercise: to stop thinking and trust my element. I released a breath. “Okay,” I said, closing my eyes and releasing the need to control. “I’m surrendering.”

It occurred to me that I felt this need to have control over everything because all my life, I was never afforded the opportunity to make my own decisions, be my own person, or choose my own path. I hadn’t had many trustworthy people, only a select few, but even then, they had been at my father’s whims. I never wholly trusted my friends in the ways I should’ve. And being bonded with a force as wild, independent, and powerful as air, scared me to release that control when it could crush me instantly.

I relaxed my shoulders, focusing on the sensation in my chest that craved latching onto control. I loosened my grip inch by inch until, at last, I surrendered my trust in my element. “I hold faith in my element to protect me, serve me, and fight with me in times of need. I trust it will always have my well-being at its forefront and will be a formidable foe against anyone who wishes me harm. It is an honor to have you by my side.”

I dropped to my knees, allowing the elemental force to surge through me and soothe the roiling emotions that plagued me. Swiftly and gently, it breathed fresh life into me, and I felt the element’s gratitude for my acceptance and trust. A heaviness sat in my chest as I realized that it had been long awaited.

I opened my eyes, finding Aella watching expectantly. “Well?”

The smile that overcame my face couldn’t be helped at the special moment. I regretted I hadn’t done it sooner. “I’m fully bonded. I surrendered.”

Aella clapped with childlike excitement, bouncing in her seat, a little squeal leaving her body. “Okay, let’s test for the shield.”

My smile faltered as self-doubt attacked. “Uhm…”

“Let’s try it. What’s the worst that could happen in here? You fail to toss up a shield?”

“Or I get stabbed? Or we cause a tornado inside the lodge. Pretty sure Orion would be peeved about the cleanup efforts…”

Aella shook her head. “I’m the one that needs to be concerned. If your shield fails, you’ll just attack me offensively. That’s been the case, I hear. And if you do, I’ll just put up my shield.”

I squinted at her confident shrug. “Okay, let’s try then. But this is on you if disaster strikes inside the lodge.”

“Well, construct that shield, and we won’t have anything to worry about, right?” she asked. A predatory gleam lit her blue and white eyes, morphing her from her sweet, gentle self to her fierce warrior side.

With a wave of her hand, an air whip lashed out, blowing back my hair and aiming for my throat. It was so quick I never had time to react. It loped around my neck before giving a tight squeeze. I gasped for breath, unable to think of a counter-response in less than a second.

When Aella realized I wasn’t responding, she immediately let the air whip fall free, and oxygen flooded my lungs. “Again,” she said.

This time, I would be ready. With the same strike, she struck again, but I felt my element rise to the surface. I lifted my palm in a halting motion, allowing my element to flow from my arm to construct a barrier to block the attack.

The flames in the hearth flickered from the wind created by two air Elementals, but I remained unscathed, and I didn’t try to overpower her. “I did it.” I beamed. “I fucking did it.”

“You did it, Princess,” Aella returned my excitement and rushed over to hug me.

“Thank you,” I whispered into her textured curls.

“That was all you. I just helped you unlock that final piece that was holding you back.”

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