Page 69 of Choose You

I nod and push up until I’m sitting. It takes a lot more effort to get me to my feet, but with her help I manage. I stagger and fall into her. I didn’t mean to but now that my body is against hers, I don’t want to let go.

“Pleash, stay with me?” I whisper.

She sucks in a breath and turns rigid. “I can’t. Not tonight.”

I release her and stumble back until I fall into a seated position on the bottom step. I probably shouldn’t have done that, because now that I’m down again, I might not make it back up until morning. I look up at her, and she’s wearing a scowl with her arms crossed over her chest. “Will you e’er forgive me? And I mean, truly forgive me?”

She sighs and drops her arms. “I do forgive you.”

I let my head fall to the side and hit the wall. “But I’ll ne’er earn your trush again, will I?”

Her shoulders sag and she sits next to me on the bottom step. “I honestly don’t know. But I meant it when I said I was trying.”

“I can’t change what I did, Jessh.” I close my eyes because the room starts to spin. I should probably keep my mouth shut and wait until I’m sober for this conversation, but I can’t seem to stop talking. “All I can do ish try to do right by you now. I can affect the preshent and the future, but I can’t change the pasht. If I could, Lord knowsh I would. But you have to trusht me before thish can work.”

She lets out a low breath. “Listen, I think we rushed into all this too fast. We clearly aren’t ready for any kind of relationship yet. Look at you. You rushed out and got wasted. Today proved we both still have way too much baggage.”

When I open my eyes and focus on her, my heart breaks. She looks so defeated and sad. I lift my hand and brush her hair behind her ear so I can see her face more clearly. She holds her gaze on mine and the look of sadness shifts to something more like disappointment and that makes me feel even worse. “Pleash don’t give up on me. I love you. Alwaysh have. I don’t know how yet, but I will earn your trusht again. That’s a promish I won’t break.”

She clasps her hands together in front of her and tears well up in her eyes. She opens her mouth to speak but then closes it. The pain and anguish in her expression is too much, and all I seem to do is make everything worse.

I grab hold of the handrail and pull myself up. My body sways but I manage to remain standing. This entire interaction has sobered me some, but I’m still going to regret drinking this much come morning.

I turn to head up the stairs, taking each step slow. When I reach the top, I look over my shoulder. Jessica is still sitting on the bottom step staring at the empty space before her.

“Jessh.” At the sound of her name, her head snaps around and looks up at me. “Don’t let a stupid mishunderstanding get in the way of ush. All I need ish one honesht chance to prove to you that I deserve you.”

She just stares at me, her expression unreadable. I let out a long breath and turn toward my room. I shut the door behind me with more force than is required, but I don’t give a fuck. When my legs hit the edge of my bed, I let myself fall, face first, into my pillows.

As soon as my eyes close, sleep takes me.

CHAPTER 25

JESSICA

For the hundredth time since leaving the vineyard, another person passing by looks at me like I’m death walking. I haven’t slept worth shit since Matthew came home drunk three nights ago. It didn’t help that I’ve been sleeping on the small sofa in my father’s office. I couldn’t stay in the house any longer. Not until I sort out my emotions. Being close to him scrambles my brain, and I need a clear head.

My uncomfortable sleeping arrangements combined with restless thoughts about Matthew weren’t exactly a recipe for a good night’s rest. No amount of makeup would cover the dark circles under my eyes, so I didn’t even bother. I guess I should have. Maybe then everyone would stop looking at me with cautious stares.

I’d been wandering the streets of Watercress Falls for about an hour now. I’ve walked up and down every sidewalk more than once and still can’t get the fight we had out of my head.

Itwasa stupid misunderstanding. We both lost our tempers and said things we didn’t mean. The hopeful romantic in me wants to run to him, throw myself in his arms, and say all is forgiven. But my rational, injured soul can’t quite let myself believe in us.

We’ve proven time and time again that we suck at communication. If we can’t communicate, then there’s no hope for a relationship.Right?We didn’t even make it a week before all our same problems surfaced and we were fighting. Maybe we should leaveour love in the past. Tears prick my eyes at even thinking such a thing.

Tired of walking, I open the door to Sweet Cakes. The familiar ring of the bell announces my arrival.

I head to the counter, thankful a young woman I don’t know is manning the register. If Rachel were here, she’d ask me questions I’m not prepared to answer about my appearance. I order an espresso and strawberry Danish before opting for the open sofa over a table.

A few minutes later, the young girl calls my name and I get up to grab my order. I head back to the sofa and curl up in the corner, cupping my espresso in my hands. I let the steam from the top wash over my face. The heat feels good on my aching skin and relieves a bit of the tension from the puffiness under my eyes.

I take a sip and the bell rings again. When I look up, I’m greeted by Rosie’s smiling face and Emmie’s frowning face.

“Well, lucky us running into you here.” Rosie’s upbeat tone gives no indication she sees the sadness in my expression or the dark circles under my eyes. “I need to talk to Mrs. Kerns for a few minutes. Do you mind if Emmie sits with you?”

“Not at all. I’d love the company.” I rotate so I’m sitting up on the sofa and pat the empty space beside. Emmie doesn’t exactly look thrilled with the idea, so I add, “That is if she wants to sit with me.”

Emmie shrugs and takes the seat. “I guess.”

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