Page 58 of Choose You

“No.” She leans into my hand and her shoulders relax a bit from my touch. “But they’re still gonna try.”

“If they can’t do it, then why are you rushing back?” She jerks herhead back at my question and pushes back with a firm hand on my chest.

“It’s more than that.” Her voice is just as firm as her hand on my chest. “I’ve poured everything I’ve got into this company, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to let them, or anyone, attempt to destroy it. If I don’t go now, I’ll look weak. They may not be able to remove me from power, but they can certainly taint my reputation. And in business, reputation is everything.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” I wrap my arm around her waist and tug her closer to me. “Don’t pull away. Not now.”

She squirms in my arm until she breaks free and steps back, putting too much distance for my liking between us. “Then stop acting like I have a choice here.”

I sigh and lean against the counter. “I’m not. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on. You leaving today is a complete one-eighty from where we left things thirty minutes ago.”

Her expression softens and she leans against the counter next to me. “I know, and I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“I understand.” I did, and I didn’t. I know she’s worked hard for her career, but if she’s planning on staying in Watercress Falls, why is she running back so quickly without including me in the decision? I thought we had a breakthrough and agreed to work on our relationship. Is this how it would always be? Her with one foot out the door, ready to run at the first sign of trouble? Maybe I’m not being fair to her right now, but her leaving scares the shit out of me. “I don’t want you to go. If you leave, I’m afraid you might never come back.”

“Matt.” She spins so she’s in front of me and wraps her arms around my waist. She presses a light kiss against my lips before she drops her chin to my chest. “I told you I plan on moving back, and I meant that. I just have to take care of business in Seattle. Iwillcome back.”

I nod and kiss the top of her head. I want to believe her. I really do. But she left once before and never came back. What’s to stop her from making that same decision again? I hold her close and try like hell to push all the fear and negative thoughts out of my mind. I can’thelp but feel like a new wedge has just worked its way between us again.

I need her. More than she’ll ever know.

CHAPTER 21

JESSICA

The morning sun shines brightly through my bedroom window. It’s a view that used to always bring me joy, but not this morning. I’m too depressed to enjoy much of anything.

It’s been almost twenty-four hours since I left Matthew and the warmth of his embrace. I already miss him so much it hurts.

I may miss him, but now that I’m not with him and constantly reminded of my attraction to him, my mind is clear to think. Thinking isn’t always a good thing for me. Especially where Matthew is concerned.

The past pain he caused me is way too close to the surface of my mind. And that pain boiling inside me has me terrified.

All I can think about is the pain I felt the day he broke up with me, or the day I found out he was married. There were lots of other bad days tossed into the mix, but those two days were by far the worst.

I’m trying really hard to focus on the good days instead. If I’m honest with myself, the good days far outweigh the bad. It’s just that the bad has a way of grabbing hold and never loosening its grip.

I close my eyes and push pain out of my mind and pick my favorite days to focus on. I recall the day he kissed me for the first time, and told me that he’d marry me. That memory is strong in my mind and will never fade. The day we told both of our parents we were officially dating is another great memory. It always makes mesmile when I think about how happy our parents were that we chose each other.

The best day of all is the day we gave ourselves to each other for the first time. We’d both been virgins and nervous. But it was special and something he and I had talked a lot about before we decided to do it. Despite the pain he later caused me, I regret none of it.

My body shookwith nerves as I watched Matthew sneak around the back of my house and onto the back porch. My parents were gone. They went to support my brother at one of his out-of-town baseball games. They trusted me at home alone. I was eighteen and could be trusted, but what I was about to do made me feel guilty.

I wasn’t throwing a party or anything like that. But I was inviting my boyfriend into my bedroom.

Not that Matthew and I hadn’t already done lots of stuff. We spent a lot of time alone by the creek and the lake. And during those times we touched each other a lot. But we hadn’t yet had sex.

We talked about it often and both agreed it should be special. We didn’t want to lose our virginity while hiding outside at one of our favorite spots. We both wanted to take our time and make love in a bed, even if that meant we had to wait.

Today, the wait was over.

I opened the back door before he had a chance to knock. As soon as he slipped inside, he wrapped his arms around me and took my breath away with a kiss so deep it reached my soul. When he broke the kiss, he dropped his forehead to mine and breathed in deeply.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” he asked.

I shook my head and took his hand in mine. “I don’t want to wait another minute to be with you.”

“Okay.” His voice croaked and he let me lead him up the stairs and to my bedroom.

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