Page 75 of Choose You

When Emmie catches sight of me, she breaks out into a run. I crouch down to her level and open my arms to catch her as she flies into me.

“Well, aren’t you a little ray of sunshine this morning.” I smile at her, and find it’s natural, not forced. I’m looking forward to spending the morning with her.

She giggles and squeezes me tight. Every small—in this case big—affection from this girl steals a little more of my heart. I lean back and brush a strand of her hair out of her face. “You ready to go riding with me?”

“Yep.” She turns to Rosie and grabs her pack. “Grandma packed us some snacks.”

Rosie pats Emmie on the top of her head and smiles. “Just a few things in case you girls get hungry. Come here, sweetie,” she opens her arms to Emmie, “give me a hug before I take off.”

Emmie crashes into Rosie like her offer of a hug is the greatest gift in the world. And I guess, it kind of is. A little more of my defenses soften when Rosie lets go of Emmie and pulls me into a similar hug. I welcome it. It’s been so long since I had this—the affection of a family—and I don’t want to lose it now that I have it back.

“I’ll leave you girls to it. When you get back, just bring her up to the house.” Rosie points at my parents’ house next to the barn. Or should I say, Matthew’s house. Once he signs the papers, this will no longer be my home.

“We’ll probably be out a couple hours, I’d say.” I tug at a strand of Emmie’s hair. “Maybe a little longer depending on how this little rider does.”

Emmie’s smile grows and she claps her hands. “I can ride all day.”

“All right then, let’s go see what you’re made of.” We wave goodbye to Rosie before I turn to introduce Emmie to my horse.

“Emmie, this is Flight. She’s very gentle and loves little girls.” Emmie walks up to my mare and pets her shoulder because she’s a little too short to reach her mane.

“She’s beautiful,” Emmie whispers.

When I first decided to get a horse in Seattle, it was Flight’s reddish bay coat and deep brown mane and tail that first caught my attention. She’s a gorgeous horse for sure, but her personality is what ultimately won me over. She’s a sweetie with a giving, fun heart. She loves to play and snuggle, my favorite combination.

“Is she fast? Is that why you named her Flight?” Emmie asks.

“She is fast, but that’s not what earned her that name. You see, your da—” I pause, stopping myself from finishing that sentence.Emmie doesn’t need to hear what I was going to say about how her dad makes me feel, so I alter my words.

“It’s symbolic really.” I crouch down next to Emmie and squeeze her hand. “You know that feeling you get when something really amazing or great makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.” She nods, but I’m not sure she understands where I’m going. “Your insides feel light and free—like you could just take off and fly, because you feel so good.”

Her eyes widen and a huge smile takes over her face. “Like how I feel when I’m on my pony. Or how Colt makes me feel safe and happy.” She holds her snuggly stuffed horse to her chest and kisses it like it’s the only thing in this world that will make her happy. In that moment, I know she understands.

“That’s exactly it.” I stand and nuzzle my face into Flight’s neck. “That’s why I named her Flight. As soon as I met this girl, I was overcome with that lightness and hope. I was ready to fly again—to love and dream. And every time I need to be reminded of what that freedom feels like, I come to my girl, and she fills my heart up with so much joy I have no choice but to fly high and free.”

“Wow.” Emmie’s mouth is open, and she looks up at me with so much reverence it’s intimidating. “I can’t wait until Daddy lets me have my own horse so I can name her something that nice, too.”

I chuckle, recalling how I was at her age. I drove my daddy nuts over wanting to ride horses. It was all I thought about until I met Matthew. He’s the only person who managed to compete for my affection.

“Come on. Let’s get going before the morning gets away from us.” I take her pack and attach it to the side saddle before my mind keeps wandering down these dangerous paths. “I’ll get you up in the saddle first, then I’ll swing in behind you, okay?”

She nods and holds her arms up so I can lift her. I get her situated and hop up behind her. Once we’re both secure in the saddle, I navigate Flight out of the barn and onto the path that leads to the creek.

“I thought we’d ride out to the creek, maybe I could share one of my favorite spots with you. Has your daddy ever taken you out there?”

She shakes her head. “He told me about it, but I’ve never seen it.”

I smile. “Good. I’m glad I get to share this spot with you first.”

She looks back at me with awe in her eyes. “Does this spot make you feel like you can fly?”

I tap her nose with my finger. “It sure does.”

We ride at a slow pace, taking our time to navigate the narrow forest trail. It’s starting to get a little overgrown from years of limited traffic, but it would only take a few trips out to open it back up again. Emmie chats my ear off the entire way, telling me about her friends, her love for her stuffed horse Colt, and her dream of jumping just like I did when I was young.

The more she talks, the more of myself I see in her. I only met Emily that one time. It was brief enough that I have no reference of what she was like, but I can’t help but wonder if we shared a lot of similar qualities. I see too much of myself in Emmie for it not to be the case.

I shake the thought out of my head. It doesn’t matter if Emily and I shared similar qualities. She’s gone, and that’s Matthew’s past. I said I forgave him, now I need to truly do it.

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