“Well, all right then,” she sighs. “We’ll see you later.”
We say our goodbyes, and I lean back into the corner of the sofa as they walk out the door. This isn’t at all how I imagined feeling when I made the decision to move back home. Three weeks ago I thought everything was finally working out the way I’d always dreamed it would. Now I feel like my life is in a worse place than it’s ever been.
Maybe moving back to Watercress Falls is a mistake.
Adam staresat me through narrow eyes as I sit down in the chair opposite his desk. It’s not the same concerned or fearful look I’ve been getting from everyone else. His gaze is filled with disappointment, maybe even disapproval.
I look away, no longer able to take the expression on his face. He sighs, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him lean forward and rest his elbows on his desk. “You’re really going to go through with this?”
I nod. “I can’t stay there.”
“Maybe you should give—”
I snap my head in his direction, fighting back the tears. “No. I’ve given this more consideration than I should have. I need my own space.”
He tosses his hands in the air. “All right. I can get started as soon as you're ready.”
“I’m ready. The rooms to be renovated have already been cleared out. I’d appreciate it if you could get the bedroom done first so I don’t have to keep sleeping on the sofa.”
“That’s easy enough. Shouldn’t take but a few days to put down new flooring and paint. I can start tomorrow if that works.”
“Perfect.” I stand and turn toward the door, but I don’t make it two steps before he speaks again.
“Jessica. Can I say one last thing before you leave?”
I stop and drop my head. The last thing I want is more advice on how I should be handling my relationship with Matthew, but I turn around anyway. I actually want to know what Adam has to say.
“He’s not going to take your house from you.”
I snort. “Yes, he will. Emmie’s too important to him. He’ll do what’s best for her no matter how it impacts me.”
He stands and walks around his desk. He gently rests his hands on my shoulders and leans down until his eyes are level with mine. “That’s where you’re wrong. While he will always take Emmie’s best interest to heart, he won’t hurt others to keep her happy. Especially not you.”
“His past actions prove otherwise.”
“Stop living in the past.” His words are firm and force my back to straighten. “When are you going to forgive him for that?”
Anger shoots through me. “I did forgive him, just like you said. Fat lot of good that did me.”
“Bullshit. You may have said the words. But up here,” he thumps the side of my head with his finger, “You haven’t forgiven anything. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be letting a little miscommunication interfere with your relationship.”
“You don’t even know what happened.”
“The hell I don’t.” I retract even more at his harsh tone. Adam has always been gentle with me, and his sudden disciplinary tone is a surprise. If he’s trying to get my attention, it’s working. “I probably know you and my brother better than anyone else. You’re being a stubborn, temperamental fool. You’re more than earning your nickname right now. You’re letting your anger make all your decisions and he’s reverting into the recesses of his self-doubt. You both need to get your heads out of your asses and talk.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is.” He sighs in frustration and steps back. He runs his fingers through his hair before he relaxes. “Listen. You have every right to be upset and protect your heart. But so does he. There’s two sides to every relationship, and intentional or not, you’ve both done your fair share of hurting the other.”
I open my mouth to respond but shut it. He’s right. I can’t exactly place all the blame on Matthew. My decisions and actions have hurt him just as his hurt me. My resolve starts to weaken, but then I shake myself out of it. “No. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. All we ever do is end up fighting again. I need to protect myself and my heart from further pain.”
I turn around and leave before he can say anything else. But I don’t make it out before I hear him yell, “Every couple fights, Jessie Cat.”
I ignore him and keep going. I can’t do what he’s asking of me. Protecting my heart is my number one priority right now. Until I overcome the current pain attacking it, I can’t risk introducing more.
I swatat my head again, but the annoying fly landing on my forehead won’t let me sleep. I finally roll over on the couch and pull the blanket up over my face.
After leaving Adam’s office I came straight back to The Wine Room and crashed on the couch. I don’t know how long I’ve slept, but it was a hard, deep sleep accompanied by zero dreams about Matthew.