“Thanks for this,” she says before taking a bite. Her eyes roll back, and she moans. “This issogood. I think I’m hungrier than I realized.”
She takes another drink of her wine, and her glass is almost empty. I pick up the wine bottle and she nods, holding out her glass for a refill. After swallowing a bite of my own sandwich, I ask, “So, what do you say? Go riding with me tomorrow?”
She glances over at me but quickly diverts her eyes away. Hersilence has my heart pounding. When Joseph suggested I ask her, I thought it was a great idea. I prepared myself for her to say no, but now that I’ve asked her the only answer I want to hear is yes. If she says no, I’ll be crushed.
Her eyes shift back to mine and they’re softer, less worried than a second ago. “Okay, sure. I could use some time on a trail.”
A huge smile covers my face. “Great. I planned on heading over to the ranch around nine. Momma will keep Emmie. Then we can get the horses ready.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be ready.”
We finish eating our sandwiches in silence, each of us stealing glances at the other. Oddly enough, it’s not as awkward as most of our previous interactions. I’d go as far as to say it’s on the verge of being comfortable. I don’t sense her anger or her pain, which is new. If anything I sense acceptance and maybe even anticipation of what tomorrow might bring.
CHAPTER 13
JESSICA
“Why can’t I go with you?” Emmie pouts. When she found out I agreed to go riding with her dad this morning, she begged to go, too. The first time she asked, I almost said yes. I wouldn’t mind having her sit in front of me on the saddle, but Matthew was quick to object.
“I already told you not this time,” he grumbles, and grabs the bag he’d packed from the kitchen counter. “We’ll be out for a few hours, and I want to take the horses on some of the steeper trails. They need exercise.”
“But when doIget to go riding with Jessica?” She crosses her arms over her chest and gives her dad a hard stare. I can’t help but laugh.
“Tell you what.” I kneel next to her. “Maybe I can join you the next time you have riding lessons with your Aunt Leann so I can get a feel for your skill. Then we can plan a morning ride. Sound good?”
She’s still frowning when she looks at me, but she nods. “Can it just be you and me?”
“If that’s what you want.” I look up at Matthew to see if he’s going to object. “As long as your daddy is okay with me taking you out alone.”
“Of course.” He narrows his eyes like he’s surprised I’d even suggest otherwise. “I trust you with my daughter.”
I look back at Emmie and her frown has lessened,but her deep green eyes are just as intense as Matthew’s. Sometimes I see so much of him in her it’s unsettling. I enjoy spending time with her, but her expressions are so much like his it feels like I’m with him instead.
This is one of those times, and I’m feeling the need to create some space.
I stand up and twirl a strand of her long dark hair around my finger. “I promise, we’re going to have plenty of time to ride. Maybe I can take you to some of my favorite spots from when I was younger?”
Her face shifts almost instantly and her eyes light up. “Really? Oh, yes please! I’d love that.”
My smile grows, and I nod. Before I can say anything more, she jumps up and wraps her little arms around my waist. It surprises me at first, but then I melt into her. She’s so sweet and loving, making it impossible not to love her. At this rate, this kid is going to own me.
“Come on, girls.” Matthew smiles as he walks past us. “Let’s get going before it gets any later. I don’t want to be out there in the afternoon heat. Plus, they’re calling for rain later today.”
We head out and pile into his truck. Once Emmie is secured in her car seat, we head the short distance to his family’s ranch.
Rosie is waiting on the front porch when we pull up. She waves at us with a huge smile and Emmie takes off for her. Matthew follows her, exchanges a few words with his mom, hugs Emmie, and heads back toward me.
“Ready?” He smiles as he reaches around me to grab the bag he packed. His arm brushes up against my shoulder and I shudder. I quickly step away, putting as much distance between us as I can without looking too obvious. It clearly doesn’t work because his smile grows, and his expression turns mischievous.
He places a gentle hand on my arm, and I suck in a breath. “Let’s go. Joe said he’d get the horses ready for us.”
All I can manage is a nod. I follow him into the barn, all the while having a private conversation in my head about my self-control. I’ve done so well over the past week and a half around him, and I can’t let myself screw it up now. Granted, I avoided him at all costs for the first week. Now that I’ve allowed myself to be near him, I’m failing. Miserably.
And all because he made me a grilled cheese sandwich.
He’s not doing anything out of line. The sandwich last night was a nice gesture. But the way he touches me—as light and seemingly insignificant as it is—is too much. It reminds me how much I miss him and still want him. A week ago I’d argue to my last breath that he was doing this on purpose, but I don’t know that he is. It feels natural, unplanned, fantastic.
Maybe I should have insisted we take easier trails and bring Emmie along. At least with her around, I wouldn’t have to worry about giving into my need to feel his touch.