Page 26 of Choose You

“I tried, Jess. Several times in fact. Any time I brought up Matt, you’d shut me down.”

“You should’ve tried harder.”

“Seriously? How many phone calls from Uncle Jimmy did you ignore? You even ignored me.”

“I didn’t ignore you guys. I’ve been busy.”

“Yeah, I get that. You’re a successful business owner. You’re always gonna be busy. But no busier than I am with my team, and I still called you. Your busy work schedule isn’t the reason you ignored us, and you know it.”

“You always wanted to talk about Matt. And I didn’t want to hear his name.”

“We only brought him up because of the house. None of this would’ve been a shock if you’d answered just one of our calls and given us the chance to speak.”

“So, you’re saying this is all my fault. That’s rich.”

“No. I’m just saying you should talk to me more. Let me help you with all this.” He reaches for my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “You’re not alone, Jess. You should even talk to Matt. It might help.”

“How can talking to Matt help?”

“Might help you not be so angry all the time. It’s worth a try, at least.”

I am angry. Very angry. And hurt. I haven’t talked to anyone except David and Blaire about Matthew. It’s easier talking to them about him than it is Ryan. As much as I hate it, Ryan and Matthew are still friends. There’s always going to be some part of him that defends Matthew and the decisions he made.

And that hurts even more.

“I don’t want to sell the house. We grew up here. This is all we have left of Mom and Dad.”

“Nah, this is just a place.” Ryan holds his hand over his heart. “Mom and Dad are right here. They go everywhere with me. They go everywhere with you, too. You just have to open your eyes and see it.”

I shift my gaze away, unable to look at the pain in his eyes. He’s being vulnerable with me right now, and I’m angry at how easily he can disregard the home we grew up in. Ryan and I hadn’t really talked about how we felt about losing our parents either. We’d been there for each other, silently providing support, but we didn't talk about it.

“So, you’re on Matt’s side?” The words came out clipped and laced with all my anger.

“This isn’t about sides.” I start to pull away, but he doesn’t let me. He grabs a hold of me and pulls me into a bear hug. “I will always be onyourside. We may not always agree on matters, but that doesn’t mean I’m not here for you.”

I nod, and for the first time today, I have to fight back tears. I've been good so far at keeping my emotions in check. Leave it to my brother to drag it all back out again.

“Come on.” He releases his hug and pats my back. “Let’s go get all this hard stuff taken care of. I take it we need to go to the funeral home, and start making all the arrangements?”

“Yeah, I didn’t make it there yesterday.” I wipe my eyes as we stand. “How long are you here for?”

“For however long this takes. I told my coach at least a week, but if it takes longer, then I’ll stay longer.”

Hearing him say those words brings back my tears. I pull him in for another hug and let him be there for me. It feels good to lean on someone else for a change. I’ve been the only one holding myself up for so long, I almost forgot what family support feels like.

“Thanks, Ryan. That means a lot to me.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses the top of my head as we head back to the house. He’s tall and broad and his arms feel strong and safe. When did my baby brother get so grown up?

CHAPTER 10

MATTHEW

“Emmie! Let’s go or we’ll be late,” I yell up the stairs before I head back into the downstairs bathroom.

Standing in front of a mirror, I straighten my tie again. It’s been a week since Jessica arrived, and today is Uncle Jimmy’s funeral. There’s a short graveside service planned, but the main service is being held at Stocks and Stables, Uncle Jimmy’s favorite bar. I’ve no doubt the place will be packed with everyone in town wanting to come out and celebrate his life.

I’ve hardly seen Jessica. She’s remained relatively hidden from me all week. Aside from her first morning here, we haven’t seen her at breakfast. I’m off to work before she comes out of her room, and she stays out past dinner time. Ryan joins Emmie and I most nights, but he said she preferred to eat in town. I think she just wants to avoid any more contact with me.

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