Page 22 of Choose You

I sit a plate of pancakes down for Emmie and pour her a cup of orange juice. I grab an extra coffee mug and pour some coffee for Jessica. “You still drink it black?” I ask.

She nods but doesn’t look up at me. I’m grateful she’s being kind to Emmie, but she’s still keeping her distance from me. All I can think about is taking her into my arms and hugging her until that distance between us goes away. It’s what I should’ve expected, though. But a part of me—a very foolish part—had hoped she’d be ready to talk to me today.

“Do you like horses?” Emmie asks as she stuffs a bite of pancakes into her mouth.

“I do. Riding is one of my favorite pastimes.”

Emmie’s face lights up and makes me smile. “Really? Me, too! I want to ride a big horse, but Daddy won’t let me.”

Jessica gives her a fake pout. “My dad was the same way when I was your age. It used to make me so mad, but he just wanted me to be safe.”

Emmie looks at me and smiles. “Yeah, that’s my daddy, too.”

“Give it a couple years, and I bet you’ll be riding circles around your daddy.” Jessica glances at me as I sit down across from her and Emmie. She looks a little more relaxed than when she first walked in and that makes me feel a little more at ease. Even though I know she’s not staying, I really want her and Emmie to get along. “You just have to be patient.”

“How old were you when you were allowed to ride big horses?”

Jessica taps her finger on her chin and looks up at the ceiling like she’s thinking hard. “I think I was six, no, seven years old, before my daddy let me loose on a big horse by myself.”

“Seven! I can’t wait that long. That’s so far away.”

“Sure you can.” Jessica nudges her shoulder as she takes a drink of her coffee. “You’ve got so much growing and learning to do. Especially if you want to be a show jumper.”

“Oh, I do. But if I want to win ribbons like that girl in the picture, I need to startnow.”

Jessica chuckles. “I can understand why you think that, but can I tell you a secret?”

Emmie nods. She’s hanging on every word Jessica says. I can’t remember the last time Emmie’s been this excited around a new person. The more excited she gets, the more Jessica relaxes. And the more it makes me want to go to her and wrap my arms around herwaist and press my lips to hers. These are thoughts I shouldn’t be having if I want her time here to go smoothly.

Jessica leans close to Emmie’s ear and whispers. “That girl in the picture is me.”

Emmie gasps, her eyes wide, and covers her mouth with her little hands. “Daddy! Did you know that was Jessica?”

I smile. “I did.”

“Wow.” Emmie looks up at Jessica in total awe. This is what I’d always hope could happen but instead of feeling relieved, I’m saddened. This is what I wanted with Jessica but never got.

I’ve been such an idiot where she’s concerned. If I could go back in time and stop the eighteen-year-old version of me from breaking up with her the first time, I would. No hesitation.

“Emmie, you need to finish your breakfast. Grandma will be here soon to pick you up.”

Emmie’s shoulders sag and she groans. “Can I stay with Jessica today instead?”

I shake my head. “I’m sure Jess has other things she has to do today.”

“He’s right.” Jessica brushes Emmie’s hair over her shoulder, and my heart aches at the kindness she’s showing my daughter. “I’ve got meetings I have to attend today. But I’ll be in town for a couple of weeks. Maybe we can go riding together while I’m here.”

“Really?”

“Sure. As long as your daddy doesn’t mind.”

Emmie looks at me with wide eyes like there’s a chance I would say no. This kid knows me better than that. “I don’t mind. Now finish eating so you can go get ready for Grandma.”

Emmie smiles and stuffs the last of her pancakes into her mouth before she runs off to get dressed. Now that she's gone, the silence in the kitchen is awkward.

I glance up at Jessica and she’s pushing her food around her plate, looking just as uncomfortable as I feel. I clear my throat and take a drink of my coffee, mostly for courage, before I say, “Thanks for being kind to Emmie. I appreciate that.”

She looks up at me, her eyes wide like she’s surprised I spoke. Shewipes her mouth with a napkin and nods. “She’s a sweet kid. You did good.”

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