Page 21 of Choose You

“A smiley face.” Her own smile grows as she uses the bottle tip to draw eyes, a nose, and a big grin out of pancake batter. I give it a few seconds to brown before I spoon a larger dollop of thicker batter on top. Once the batter starts to bubble, I flip it. Emmie claps and kicks her legs in excitement. This never gets old.

“Well, would you look at that?” I grin and kiss her cheek. “This just might be the best smiley face I’ve ever seen.”

“Let’s make more.” She holds the squirt bottle close to her chest waiting for the first one to be done.

“What do you want to make next?” I ask as I flip the finished pancake onto a plate.

“More smiley faces.” She starts to draw the face before I have a chance to question her.

“Really? You don’t want me to make you a horse?”

“Nope.” She shakes her head and grins. I put on a forced frown because she always wants horses. The whole reason I learned to make pancakes like this was so she could have more horses. She looks up at me and laughs. “Stop it Daddy. We need happy faces today. I think Jessica will like them.”

I freeze midway through adding the thicker batter on top of the current smiley face. Emmie nudges my arm and points at the skillet. “Daddy, hurry up before it burns.”

“Oh, sorry.” I quickly spoon more batter over the face and watch Emmie carefully. She looks really happy considering what happened yesterday. “So, we’re making these for Jess.”

“Yep.” Emmie doesn’t even break her gaze off the skillet. She’s ready to make another face as soon as this one comes off. “She’s sad, and we need to make her feel better. Smiley faces will help.”

I brush her hair back from her face and kiss her forehead. “You’re a good kid, you know that?”

She shrugs. “I know.”

“And modest.” I laugh. “You’re also very modest.”

She looks up at me and frowns. “I don’t know what that means.”

“It means—”

“Jessica!” Emmie yells in my ear, causing me to flinch. She starts bouncing and kicking her legs on the counter. “Let medown,Daddy!”

I look over my shoulder, and Jessica is standing in the entryway with her hands on her hips. Her hair is wet, and she’s not wearing make-up. I like her better natural. She’s also wearing a bright blue t-shirt and jeans. I thought she looked good in the dress she had on yesterday but seeing her like this is way hotter.

My mouth runs dry, and it feels like sandpaper scratching my throat when I swallow. I feel a strong tug inside me to go to her, to pull her close and hold her tight against me.

“Morning,” she says. There’s a faint smile on her face when she makes eye-contact with me. I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Instead, I flip the pancake before it burns.

Emmie starts bouncing on the counter even more. I lift her offand put her down, so she doesn’t fall. She immediately runs over to Jessica and wraps her arms around her waist. I can’t even find the words to explain how it feels to see my daughter hug Jessica like that. It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed could be real, and yet it feels like a nightmare since I’m pretty sure Jessica hates me.

“We’re making smiley face pancakes just for you.” Emmie’s beaming face draws a bigger smile out of Jessica, and my chest tightens.

“For me?” Jessica leans down until she’s eye-level with Emmie. “Are you sure they’re just for me? I bet you like pancakes, too.”

“I do. I guess they’re for both of us. But they definitely have smiley faces for you.”

“Smiley faces, huh?” Jessica wrinkles her brow, putting on a playful, suspicious expression just for Emmie. It’s more than I could ever have hoped for from her and makes my chest tighten even more. “I can’t say I’ve ever had a smiley-face pancake.”

Emmie claps her hands and runs back to me. “Did you hear that Daddy? She's never had them before! Can I show them to her?”

“How about you do one better and let’s make her a plate?” Together, we plate up a couple pancakes. Emmie carefully walks around the island to the stools on the opposite side. The butter and syrup are already out, and I sit a plate of bacon in the middle.

“Here,” Emmie says as she sits the plate down. “You can sit next to me.”

“Oh wow, these look too happy to eat.” Emmie runs to the drawer on the opposite wall to grab the flatware. Even though Jessica is smiling while she watches her, I see sadness in her eyes. I hate that my greatest joy in life is making her sad. Jessica and I talked about having kids after we got married. She wanted two and I wanted four. Seeing how she looks at Emmie is just another reminder that I lost the one woman I truly loved, and I may never get her back.

“Here you go.” Emmie hands her a fork and knife

“Thank you.” Jessica takes the flatware and they both sit down. Emmie stares at Jessica with a constant grin on her face.

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