Page 84 of Mistaken Intention

As I carefully pull my thumb from her, I realize her shoulders are shaking, convulsing… her body going with them, and I grab her, spinning her around as she lets out a sob that shatters my heart.

Oh, god… what have I done?

“Josie… baby,” I say, holding her close to my chest, caressing her hair as she weeps against me, her body so small and soft and delicate. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She shakes her head, pulling away, and looks up into my eyes. “No.”

“No, what?”I’m dying here. Give me more than ‘no’, for the love of God.

She rests her hands on my chest. “D—D—Don’t be sorry.” She’s struggling against her tears.

“But I hurt you.”

“No.”

I capture her face with my hands, my body pressed hard against hers. “Tell me. Tell me why you’re crying.”

She sucks in a deep breath, and then another, trying to calm herself. It doesn’t work. Tears are still rolling down her cheeks, but the look in her eyes isn’t one of pain or hurt. It’s one of love… the kind of love that makes the sun rise and the moon shine. The kind of love that draws two hearts together, knowing that to part would break them both.

“I—I can’t help it,” she says, still struggling.

I nod my head. “Are these good tears?”

“Yes. At least, they’re overwhelming tears.” She takes another breath. “I—I thought what you did to me earlier, on the bed, was as intense as it could get… but what you did just now…”

“It was good?”

She smiles, choking back her tears in a half laugh. “Good isn’t a strong enough word. I feel like my body isn’t mine anymore. Like it’s in pieces on the floor…”

I kiss her, my lips playing across hers. “Then let me help you.”

“Do you think you can?”

I stare into her eyes. “Yes.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, but I’d tear myself apart to put you back together.”

Tears trickle from her eyes, and she throws her arms around my neck. “I love you so much, Drew.”

“I’ll always love you more.”

I turn off the water, wrapping her in a towel and I hold her for a very long time, until it feels like she’s whole again, her breathing quite normal, her body relaxed in my arms.

I grab a towel for myself, fastening it just above my hips, and then I lift her into my arms. She rests her head against mychest and I carry her back into the bedroom, laying her down on the mattress.

“You okay?” I lie beside her, pushing damp hairs from her face.

“I am now,” she says. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.”

She smiles. “You looked really scared.”

“I was. I thought I’d hurt you.”

She shakes her head, her smile fading. “Can I ask you a question?”