Page 51 of Mistaken Intention

“Are you okay?” She turns, having clearly heard me, and I nod my head, unable to speak. She smiles. “This doesn’t take long to prepare. You can set the table, if you feel up to it.”

I nod again, still unsure about my voice, and she turns away. I want to ask her to turn back so I can tell her that even if I never get to kiss her, or touch her, or taste her, I need her to stay.

Because I’d be lost without her.

I don’t say any of that, and instead I give myself a moment to recover from my daydreams and I set the table. I take a while to find everything, but I get there eventually, and by the time I’m done, Josie is dishing up our dinner into shallow bowls.

She brings them over to the table, sitting opposite me.

“What are we eating?”

“It’s a chick-pea curry.”

“It smells incredible, so I’m guessing I like curry.”

She smiles, picking up her fork. I copy her, tasting the combination of spices and vegetables, which is absolutely delicious.

“Do you like it?” She looks across at me, tilting her head, like she’s nervous.

“It’s lovely… although I feel like there’s something missing.”

She laughs. “I wondered if you’d say that.”

“You did?” I’m confused, and I put down my fork, staring across at her.

“Yeah.” She tips her head the other way. “There’s no meat.”

I glance down at the bowl. “Of course. I guess this means I’m a carnivore.” She nods her head. “Are you a vegetarian?”

“No. I only cooked this for us because I know how quick and easy it is, and I figured you’re tired and might want to get to bed early.”

She’s not wrong. As much as I’d love to sit up and talk, or even just look at her, I’m worn out, and once we’ve finished eating, it’s all I can do to keep my eyes open. Josie notices and suggests I head up to my room.

“No. I’ll help clear away.”

“You won’t. There’s a dishwasher, so I’ve only got to stack things into it. It won’t take a moment.”

“That doesn’t seem fair when you’ve cooked.”

“You can make it up to me some other time.” She gets to her feet, coming around to my side of the table as I stand. “Do you need me to help you get ready for bed?”

I think about that for a moment. It’s tempting to say ‘yes’, not just because I’m so tired I can barely function, but also because I want to be near to her. But the thing is, I want to be near to her when I’m capable of doing something about it, and when I know that’s what she wants, too. Unfortunately, that means I’m better off going upstairs by myself… at least for now.

“I’ll be fine, thanks.”

“Okay, but call if you run into trouble.”

I nod my head and make for the door, although I turn on the threshold and look back at her. She’s clearing the dishes already, focused on what she’s doing.

“Josie?”

She looks up. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“What are you thanking me for?”

“Being here.” It’s the truth. I’m grateful for her presence.

---