Page 99 of Mistaken Intention

“Nothing. It was difficult, though. I thought having my phone back might prompt some fresh memories, but Josie argued it could be too much for me. She said I was trying to force my progress instead of letting it happen naturally. And she was right.”

“She cares about you.”

“I know. I knew it before, but it hit home when I realized how upset she was. That was when I stopped arguing with her. It wasn’t worth hurting her.”

“So, you made up?” he asks.

“Yes. Like I say, we didn’t even argue. Not really. And I know she was okay about it afterwards.”

“How? Did she tell you?”

“She didn’t need to. She came to bed with me.”

He nods his head, unfazed by my confession. “Okay. It must be something else, then.”

“I know. But the question is, what?”

“Well… we know she cares, but does caring translate into love? Just because you’re in love with her doesn’t mean she feels the same way. Maybe it was all too much for her.”

“I can’t believe that. She told me she loves me too. She said the weirdest thing to me… she said she’s always loved me, and although I know I only met her a few days ago, and that shouldn’t make sense, it does to me. I feel exactly the same. I told her that last night… that she’s always been in my heart. It’s like she belongs there.” I cough, swallowing down the lump in my throat, trying not to think about last night… about how it felt to wake in the darkness with such a burning desire for her, it could only be quenched by taking her, there and then. Was that too much? “Oh, God…”

“What?”

What if I went too far? But no, that can’t be. She enjoyed it. She told me afterwards.

“It’s nothing,” I say. “It’s okay.”

“What is?”

“It was just something I did last night. I wasn’t sure for a moment if I’d gone too far with her… but I just remembered how happy she was afterwards. We talked about having kids…”

“Jesus… what did you do? Propose to her?”

“No.”I woke her up and fucked her senseless, if you must know.But she liked it. She liked how wanted it made her feel. I remember her saying that.

“But you had the children talk?” he says, sounding a little shocked.

“Is that a problem?” I ask.

“I don’t know, but Livia and I didn’t discuss having kids – at least not properly – until just a couple of months before we got married.”

“You didn’t?”

“No.”

“What did you say? Maybe I got it wrong?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t really say anything. It was just something that came up.”

“Do you think Josie felt rushed? I told her that wasn’t my intention, but I only met her a few days ago. I made love to her for the first time yesterday morning and started talking about having kids together in the middle of last night.” When I put it like that, it sounds like the definition of ‘rushed’.

He shakes his head. “She might have thought things were going a little too fast. But I guess there’s only one way to find out… and that’s to ask her.”

It doesn’t take much longer to drive through the city and park in the quiet street outside Josie’s apartment. I’m a little nervous now, but I’m still desperate to see her, to talk to her, and I get out of the car, following Hunter up the steps and onto the balcony.

I feel dizzy again, but this time it’s got nothing to do with my concussion, or the stairs. This time it’s because I’m scared.

Hunter takes charge, leading the way to her front door, where he pauses, looking at me.

---