Page 140 of Mistaken Intention

She looks up at me, her eyes clouded with confusion. “Told him what?”

“About us.”

“No,” she says. “I just explained that I couldn’t keep working with you. I didn’t give him a reason… and then I told him I wanted to leave the hospital. He said how disappointed he was, and that he thought the staff and patients would be better off without me.”

“That was a shitty thing to say.”

She blinks a couple of times, like she’s trying hard not to cry. “Was it?”

“Yes. It also isn’t true. You did everything he asked of you, even when you weren’t sure it was right, and you only left because it became personally difficult for you to stay. That wasn’t your fault.”

She shrugs her shoulders, like she’s not convinced, and I wonder if her nerves are entirely due to our situation, or whether his words have hit home… if they’re one of those conflicts she’d rather run and hide from.

I turn back to Hunter. “Why was he calling you?” I ask.

“To offer a few suggestions for private nursing agencies, where he said I’d be able to find someone to look after you.”

“He said he was gonna do that,” Josie says and I look back at her, knowing now that I’m right. I can see it in her eyes. She was expecting this call, although I imagine she hoped it would come later, when we weren’t all together.

“To humiliate you?”

“No. He said he was putting the patient first, even if I wasn’t.”

“Except I wasn’t your patient, was I?”

“Yes, you were.”

“No. First and foremost, I was your lover.” I hope to God I still am, but I don’t think now is the time to say that. “It was more complicated than he realized, Josie. You can’t take his criticisms to heart.”

“Can’t I?”

“No.” Hunter and I both speak at the same time and she looks over at him, and then back at me.

“I let you down.”

“No, you didn’t. And before you argue with me, it’s for me to judge how you made me feel, and no-one else.”

“And how did I make you feel?” she asks, nibbling on the corner of her lip.

I pull it free with my thumb, because it’s too distracting, and look into her eyes. “Scared.”

“Scared?”

“Yes. When we couldn’t find you, I was terrified. I thought I’d lost you.” I lean in and kiss her forehead, then turn back to Hunter. “What did you tell Sweeney?”

He stares at me for a second, then shakes his head, like he’s coming out of a dream. “I told him thanks, but you didn’t need a nurse anymore.” He glances down at Josie and then back at me, with a slight smile on his lips.

“No, I don’t.”

“Sweeney disagreed,” Hunter says, tipping his head one way and then the other. “He said the next part of your recovery could be traumatic, but I told him we’ll cope.” He lets his eyes drift down to Josie again and leaves them there this time. “Did I do the right thing?”

She nods her head, and Hunter smiles, returning to the kitchen.

I can’t help feeling a little relieved. We’ve got a lot to talk about, but that felt like Josie was saying – albeit silently – that she’s willing to come home with me. That’s a start. It’s a step in the right direction.

“We don’t have to talk, if you don’t want to,” I say and she looks up at me, frowning.

“We don’t?”

---