Page 51 of Of Nine So Bold

The sorrow in her eyes brought all my self-protective babbling to a halt.

Oh, gods, I was anidiot.

“Princess…” Every horrible moment of the war raced through my mind, each one made all themorehorrible because I might have inadvertently inflicted them onher.“What did you see?”

A heartbeat passed. “The Order.”

Oh, gods, no. They’d died so horrifically, I still had nightmares even after all these years. “I’m so sorry, I never would have wished you to?—”

“I get it now.”

I faltered, my words falling silent so hers could be the ones to emerge. In the distance, thunder came again, closer now.

“I understand why you retreat when the others are with me,” she said. “Why the two of us can’t be like that, even if you once called me your treluria. I saw the day you swore your oaths to the Order. I felt how much it meant to you. How important that is, even now.” A sweet smile crossed her face, but because I knew her, I could still see the trace of sadness in her eyes. “Byron, it was beautiful.”

Quivers spread through me. If this was a sword fight, she’d just cut me to the core. “B-beautiful?”

She nodded, a trace of amusement in her eyes like somehow my reaction was endearing.

But then it faded. “I’m so sorry for what happened to them.”

My heart tripped over itself in panic. “Did you see that? The?—”

She was already shaking her head. “Just the day you swore your oaths.”

Relief crushed a breath from my chest.

Her smile returned, kind and soft. She was looking at me like I was something mysterious and incredible, but even that couldn’t fully mask her sadness.

And I couldn’t reach out to her. I couldn’t make her pain better or bask in the wonder of seeing that respect in her eyes. And she’d seen my past, so she knewwhyI couldn’t.

Somehow that fact didn’t help at all. Itshouldhave.A week ago, I likely would have been relieved. Ecstatic even that the woman I couldn’t get out of my mind now understood and accepted that I could never be with her the way the others could. A week ago, I would have seen that as an unequivocallygoodthing.

It didn’t feel good now.

“Did you see anything about me?” Her brow rose, curious.

“I… I, um…”

“It’s okay to say so.”

The kindness on her face was heartbreakingly genuine. I hesitated all the same, choosing my words carefully. “I saw a marmoset.”

Her smile returned, but once again, it held pain.

It goaded me onward. “It wasn’t your fault, princess. The fact he disappeared. Your stepmother lied to you. I saw how much you cared for that creature. You never would have let him slip away if… if she hadn’t taken him from you.”

I knew I couldn’t prove that last. But I also knew without a shred of doubt that my words were true.

Her gaze dropped to the yellowed grass beneath us. Seconds ticked by before she said softly, “She did, didn’t she?”

“I’m sorry.” My fingers curled as I fought the urge to reach out to her.

She nodded in acknowledgement. “Did you see anything else?”

At my silence, she glanced up again.

“The library.” The words felt like they were being dragged from me by sheer virtue of the fact I couldn’t bring myself to lie. “The day you found the first of those small romance novels you love.”

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