Page 181 of Of Nine So Bold

“I agree.”

Ignatius’s even response stopped me in my tracks. I turned, staring. “What?”

“I was the disgrace. Not you.”

What was he playing at?

As if seeing my shock, his brow rose and fell with tired irony. “Twenty years in a cage will teach you a few things, son. Things about others. About yourself. I held so many ironclad beliefs before the Aneiran war that were misguided.” He paused, and chagrin crossed his face as he amended, “Bigoted. I used my supposed learning to convince myself and others that you were lesser, when in truth, it was myself who was the lesser.”

This… this was a dream. I’d had ones like them as a child, when the pain of rejection and bullying became too much to bear, and my mind would try to comfort itself with fantasies.

But I never believed I’d experience anything like them in real life.

Old regret filled Ignatius’s expression. “Character is everything. It transcends appearance, station, and circumstances. It defines more about a person than any other factor in their lives, and yet I could not see that. I thought the outside defined the inside, when in reality, the inside holds the power. A person can be born in the lowest of circumstances and have greater integrity, honor, and trustworthiness than the highest person in the land. To judge someone on what youthinkthey are rather than seeing them as an individual and having the humility to believe youdon’tactually know everything…” He shook his head. “It is the definition of ignorance. Berinlian would be ashamed that I dared to call myself his scholar.”

I stared, utterly speechless.

“And the… the mines taught you this?” Gwyneira said as if carefully choosing her words.

Ignatius’s gaze turned briefly to the corridor as if looking past the walls to the other giants.

Or perhaps to the giants who’d lived and died here long ago.

“Over and over again, yes. In the mines I learned more than I had in decades with the Order—perhaps most importantly that I, esteemed scholar and keeper of the wisdom of Berinlian, was in reality little more than a frightened old man who had been a fool for far too long.”

He turned back to me. “And I am sorry.”

I was speechless.

“In that case,” my precious treluria began carefully, as if testing out a political opponent in court. “Once the threat of the Voidborn is gone, may he take his place with you and rebuild the Order?”

Even as my heart ached for how she so relentlessly supported me, I braced myself. Throughout my life among the scholars, I’d learned not to immediately put faith in a monk’s kind words.

They could too easily be a lure designed to make me miss a coming trap.

And as certainly as the sunrise broke the grip of night, Ignatius’s mouth tightened with misgiving. “I believe he has a new calling now.”

My heart sank. That was it, then. One brief moment, and the faith around which I’d built my life would no longer recognize me as its own.

“The most secret and precious of Berinlian’s teachings spoke of the legend of the Nine,” Ignatius said. “Of the warriors who would rise up to save our world. But the hearts of those warriors must not be divided because of their own internal conflict. For this reason, my son, your time with the Order must end.”

“But the prophecy isn’t forever,” Gwyneira protested. “Surely he could?—”

“No.” Ignatius’s brow rose in a pointed look. “But that also doesn’t mean Byron’s placewith us is gone.”

My pain turned to confusion. Beside me, Gwyneira’s expression reflected the same.

“Destiny calls each of you to become the Nine,” Ignatius said. “Of that, I have no doubt. And your heart calls you to her. To fight against your heart while also fighting for the fate of the world…” He made a soft sound of disbelief. “Thus, just as I needed to change, so too does the Order’s understanding of the vows Berinlian told us to swear. After all, how true is a pursuit of knowledge if it requires us to seal ourselves away from the fullness of life itself?”

I trembled. “We seal ourselves away for the purpose of focus. Of dedication.”

Gods, I didn’t know if I was pleading for him to prove or disprove what I’d believed all my life.

A rueful smile touched Ignatius’s face. “Seal anything away for too long and it becomes weak, not strong.”

“So,” Gwyneira said as if wanting to hear it with her own ears. “Byron can explore this side of himself and stay in the Order too?”

Ignatius nodded. “He will be Berinlian’s strong sword arm in this fight, for you and for all of us.” His gray eyes met mine firmly. “You will always have a place in the Order, Byron. Our doors will always welcome you as a brother. But you are now thechampionof the Order, not its monk. You and your allies are the hope of this world. Your heart need no longer be divided.”

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