Page 145 of Of Nine So Bold

When I finally managed to make myself turn, I could only stare incredulously at the regretful expression on his face. He… Holy fucking gods, he actually meant that.

“What the hell are you sorry for?” I demanded.

He shrugged. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you.” Niko’s eyes went back and forth between me and Gwyneira, including her in the statement. “Either of you. It was wrong of me, and I?—”

“You had every right to be angry at me,” I blurted, too shocked to stop myself from interrupting him. “I lied. Risked her.” My head twitched toward Gwyneira though my eyescouldn’t leave Niko. “I oweyouthe apology, not the other way around.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Still. I’m sorry.”

My mouth moved. Gods damn me, how… how was he sogoodall the time? So kind and generous andnothinglike I could ever?—

The demon twitched inside my head, almost like he was smacking me in an effort to pull me out of my thought spiral.

It was a weird feeling.

But damn that creature, it also helped.

“I… I’m sorry, too,” I managed to say. ”For… Well, like I said. All of it.”

Niko let out a breath as if relieved, and he smiled.

Fuck, he really meant it, didn’t he? He was sorry and he was okay with me being sorry too.

He glanced at Gwyneira.

“You already apologized to me,” she said as if reminding him. “And it’s okay. Really.”

His smile grew.

I stared, still stunned. When it came to me and my friends, Niko was pretty much the kindest and most forgiving of us. But everything I’d done still felt like it should’ve been too much for our friendship to survive.

Yet it was alsobecauseI’d known him all these years that I could see the strain creeping back into his face while I watched him now.

“How are you holding up with all this?” I asked carefully.

Shrugging, Niko looked away. “Fine, I suppose.”

I wasn’t sure I believed that.

Gwyneira certainly didn’t. She reached out, taking his hand. “It’s okay if you’re not.”

Niko sighed. “I just…” A humorless chuckle escaped him. “I guess I’m used to staying in the background, you know? LettingDex or the twins or you—” he nodded at me, “—take the lead. And now all these people are looking at me likeI’mthe one to lead them and…” He trailed off uncomfortably. “What if I can’t?”

Before I could figure out how to respond, he shook his head with a small scoff. “I mean, that’s assuming these magical waters even choose me, which they absolutely won’t, so it’s beside the point anyway.” His eyes flicked up to Gwyneira’s. “No reason to worry since it’s not really going to be an issue, right?”

I glanced at her. Like me, she didn’t seem to buy that he was nearly as disbelieving as he was trying to seem. But based on how she stayed silent, she also seemed to agree that pointing that out wouldn’t help anything.

Gently, she squeezed his hand with a kind smile.

Relief flickered in his eyes. “I did have a question, though,” he continued to me. “Why did you take her away from us?”

I froze all over again, while inside my mind, the demon cringed at the memory of the first time it’d fucked everything up. “It, uh…” Gods, how could I explain this? “It wasn’t really me. I wouldn’t do that. But the demon is… well, I don’t know what, exactly. But it’s not me.”

Niko gave me a sideways look. “It’s not?”

“No.”

My voice was emphatic, but then the truth caught up to me. Dammit, I wasn’t going to lie to him. Not even by omission. Not anymore.

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