Page 12 of Of Nine So Bold

Obviously, any training I possessed that allowed me to hide my reactions was failing, at least where two men who could hearthe tense pounding of my heart or feel my aching emotions were concerned.

By the time we reached a place to camp that night, I’d started to feel as if my nerves were like the strings of a minstrel’s instrument, tightened to the point they were about to snap. Wherever we went, there was only destruction. Never mind that the soldiers transporting Nikoshouldhave stopped to investigate it. No, they only dragged my sweet, kind giant farther north, bringing him back to the queen with no care for what was happening around them.

And I could do nothing to change that.

Seated by the campfire, I breathed slowly as I watched the flames. I was being self-indulgent, I knew, in letting my emotions get away from me. What would my father think if he saw me sitting here, worrying instead of planning?

That thought didn’t help much at all.

I looked away from the flames only to find Valeria sitting on the other side of the blaze. Her eyes were on the night beyond our small campsite, where the orange glow of the fire played against the tall grass.

Sadness lingered in her eyes.

Curious, I rose. My men and the guards from Duteliera glanced over. The humans and my giants had finished their dinner some time before, and while Lars and a few of the guards were preparing places for us all to sleep, Dex, Roan, and several humans were keeping watch by the edges of the camp.

None moved to intercept me as I circled the flames.

When Valeria spotted me, her expression closed down, but I didn’t let that deter me. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly.

The murmurs from the others fell silent for a second before returning, as if the humans wanted to pretend they weren’t listening and my men wanted to give us space.

I wasn’t fooled. Neither was she, if the way her attention flashed across the others was any indication.

“Of course,” she said flatly.

“It’s just… you seem sad.”

She regarded me for a moment. I doubted it was my imagination that she seemed to be deciding how far to extend her trust.

“My lord is putting himself at risk, sending me here,” she explained at last. “I worry for him.”

I nodded. “You don’t have to stay. Gods know we could use your help, but?—”

“I have my orders, princess,” she cut in sharply and then caught herself, blanching slightly. “Apologies, Your Highness. Thank you for the suggestion, but with your permission, I respectfully decline.”

I smiled at the tight propriety. “It’s okay. We’re all on edge. And I prefer honesty to decorum, just so you know.”

A heartbeat passed, and then she nodded, just once. She never looked at me.

I watched her, debating. I didn’t want to make things worse than they were already, but I also didn’t want to treat her like furniture, present to support us but not worth acknowledging beyond that.

If our lives were going to be in her hands, I wanted to know I could trust her. And regardless, everyone deserved better than to be treated that way.

Gently, I continued. “You’re close to Lord Thomas.”

I heard her breath catch ever so slightly.

“He is a good leader,” she said, her voice carefully neutral. “All our people are fond of him.”

I made a noise of acknowledgment. She didn’t move, her eyes on the middle distance between us as if she wouldn’t quite let herself look at me to see what I thought of her words.

Because gods knew, the lords in Lumilia would haveplentyof opinions about what I suspected existed between the two of them. Not one of those opinions would be kind. A soldier and likely a commoner by birth in any sort offormalrelationship with a man of Lord Thomas’s stature would reflect badly on him in their eyes. And an informal relationship wouldn’t be much better. It would change his reputation, at a minimum, and likely hers as well.

If she loved him, she wouldn’t want his position to suffer. If he loved her, he wouldn’t want her viewed as an opportunist sleeping her way to authority.

Secrecy was their best defense.

“I swear you’ll find no judgment from me if it’s more than that,” I told her in a quiet voice. “For him or for you. I only mean to say that I will do all I can to make sure your orders are fulfilled and you can return to him soon.”

---