Page 62 of Be Mine Forever

“I’m an early riser.” Cam stood and walked over to the fireplace, knocking his shoe against the stacked stone. “I like to paint in the morning. All that natural light.”

“You said you wanted questions…well, here’s one for you.” Jo approached the next words like a kamikaze mission. “Is this why you won’t make love to me?”

Cam stroked the poker by the fireplace, and Jo knew if he could run that poker through this conversation and put it out of its misery, he would. His shoulders stiffened and then fell. He faced her, leaning his back against the mantel.

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Well, untangle it for me, Cam.” Jo sat cross-legged on the couch, tucking her hands under her thighs.

Cam looked down at his feet, crossed at the ankles.

“I started having the dreams a lot more a few years ago, after Kerris and I got married.” Cam shrugged and shook his head. “Not that it was her fault. That’s just when they started more regularly. Still not every night, just more frequent than they had ever been.”

“And now?” Jo held her breath while she waited to hear about what she only suspected.

He lifted his eyes from the floor, but it was like he peered through blinds, letting out tiny bits of information through the slats.

“Now it’s every night.” Cam sat down on the stone hearth. “And I feel unstable.”

“What do you mean, unstable?”

“It’s like all my emotions are right there at the surface, and I sometimes feel like I’m this spark that could turn into an inferno if I’m not careful.”

He loaded the look he gave her with meaning.

“And I don’t feel very careful when I have sex.” He stretched his legs out in front of him, rubbing the denim covering his thighs. “So I haven’t in a while.”

“What’s a while?”

“The last time was in Paris a few months ago.” Cam hung his head and ran his hand over the back of his neck. “She said I was rough.”

The word “rough” abraded Jo’s nerves and commanded the hairs on her arms to attention. Fear built a bridge to fantasy in her mind and she started running across it right away. Rough sex with Cam sounded like a heavenly spiked dream.

“Rough how?”

“I don’t know.” Cam shrugged. “It’s not that I blacked out or anything, but I kind of lost myself for a few minutes.”

“I think that’s pretty typical.”

“She had marks on her I didn’t remember leaving, Jo.”

“What kind of marks?”

“Bruises where I gripped her thighs too hard. Bites on her…” Cam swallowed and Jo could have sworn she saw red creep under his olive skin. “Bite marks on her ass. Scratches on her back.”

Jo popped to her feet and lifted the hair off her neck. She fanned her face.

“I think I need some air.”

She walked out to the front porch and sat on the swing, dropping her head into her hands. Good God, was it too dark to run? Did she have her knitting kit? She was so wet and hot between her legs, like a kerosene fire. Bite marks on the ass? Was it so wrong that all she could think was, “Yes, please”?

Cam walked out onto the porch, leaning against one of its beams.

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you.” He walked over to sit beside her on the swing, taking her hand between his. “If you want out, tell me now. I don’t blame you for being scared. I don’t even know what I’m capable of. I’d kill myself before I’d hurt you, Jo. Even if we don’t go any further, you have to believe that.”

She could pretend that it was fear that had run her out of the cottage, or she could own up to the steamy truth that him bruising and scratching her basically left her sopping wet.

“Cam, I don’t want out.” She covered her eyes with her hand, even as her words gave up the truth. “I want way in.”

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