Page 32 of Be Mine Forever

An ill-timed laugh slipped past his lips. With her flushed cheeks, licked-wet lips, and want-wide eyes, Jo looked like she might be up for that.

“No. Well, maybe sometimes, but that’s not what I meant.” He caressed the blade of his steak knife, contemplating how much he should say. “There is a lot you don’t know about me, Jo.”

“I know you.” She leaned her elbows on her knees, her face so earnest and sure. “I’ve known you over half our lives. We’ve known each other since we were little more than children.”

Cam hadn’t been a child by the time he’d met Jo. He’d mimicked innocence. He’d domesticated himself to fit in, but he had always known a full-grown beast lurked just beneath the surface. And lately, that beast had been scratching at the lining of his belly. Clawing to get out. Famished. Feral. Furious.

On a leash that kept slipping.

He had hoped to keep Jo. To have her on his terms. Friendship. Relegating her to the edges of his life. To a safe periphery, but she kept coming. Kept pushing. Keptlovinghim. He knew that. He could admit to himself that he knew. That it frightened and thrilled him equally.

He got up and walked over to the gazebo bench, squatting in front of her. Taking her hands between his. He looked into her watching, waiting eyes.

“Jo, you want something I can’t ever give you.”

Pain tweaked her features, making her mouth tremble and her eyebrows bunch up.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You son of a bitch. What the hell do you think you’ve been doing all these years?” Jo stood up, charging to the far side of the gazebo and swinging around to face him. “You think it didn’t hurt when you turned me down for the Sadie Hawkins dance? When you screwed one of my dorm mates? When I planned yourweddingbecause I thought Kerris would make you happy?”

Cam had no words. It had all happened. It had all hurt. It was all true. He waited for more vitriol. More fire and fury, but like an invisible hand had swiped all the emotion from her face, Jo’s expression smoothed and hardened into a resin of resolve.

“You know what, you’re right.” She shook her head, hands retracted into tight fists at her side. “Get out of my life. We’ll do this exhibit and then have no contact. None whatsoever.”

He knew it was for the best, but having herevicthim from her life stung like a wasp.

“And you know what I’m gonna do, Cam?” She held one finger in the air, a fakeEureka!all over her face. “I’m going to date Peter. I’m going to fuck Peter. I’m going to marry Peter. Would that make you happy?”

No. No. No.

Cam sprang to his feet, but stopped himself from walking to her. He just looked at her, allowing her the privilege of ripping more holes in him with her sharp words.

“But before you go, you’re going to do one thing for me.” The resolve slid around on her face for a moment before she locked it back into place. “You’re going to tell me something real.”

Something real might break him. The emotions, the urges, the desires under these protective layers would change everything. And if Jo scented any of it, she’d never let it go.

“Jo, I got nothing.”

“Well, let me tell you something real, you coward.” Jo’s words squeezed around his neck like a choking hand. “I would have done anything for you. Ihavedone anything for you. I wanted you to be my first date. My first kiss. My first lover. And you could have been.Wecould have been, if you’d had the balls to take me. But you didn’t want me.”

“Jo, I’m sorry.”

“You know what I’m sorry about?” The anger in her voice slumped into a sob. A sniffle. A broken cry that wrecked her face. “I’m sorry I didn’t kick you out of my life sooner. I’m done with you. Done with this game you keep playing. You make me feel foolish. Like some idiot girl with a crush. I amnotthat girl. And you reduce me to that.”

“I don’t mean to.” The urge to hold her, to touch her, scalded his hands until his fingers twitched. He dropped his eyes to the gazebo floor. “I don’t want that.”

“I’m not doing this anymore.” Tears wet her words and broke his heart. “Just go. I finally got the message. You don’t want me.”

Her last words fell apart as the tears took over. Cam glanced up, and what he saw ripped his heart right down the blackened middle. Jo stood, shoulders shaking, lips clamped together imprisoning a sob, a hand covering her eyes like she couldn’t stand to watch him walk away. His heart and his will had been circling one another for so long over this girl, now a woman. His will had ruled, barely, pulling his heart into line. Cam felt the shift in power, and there was nothing he could do to stop this act of sedition. The weariness that sets in when you forget what you’re fighting for, or when surrender looks too sweet, was his undoing.

His heart rebelled and he turned and walked over to Jo. He stopped just inches from her, both hands taking hold of her face, hot with her tears. He dipped his head until his lips rested right next to her ear. He pushed one hand into her hair and slid the other down her arm, lacing their fingers.

“Not want you?” He inhaled the scent buried beneath her hair. “I fight myself not to take you.”

Jo stiffened, uncovering her eyes and blinking up at him, uncertain surprise flitting across her face. She pulled her lips into her mouth. She reached up, pushing a chunk of hair behind his ear, tracing a finger over his eyebrows before touching his mouth.

She rose on her toes, straining up until her breath, her words misted his lips:

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