Page 58 of When You Are Mine

“There’s nothing between us.”

“Stop lying to me.” He kept his voice low, conscious of the others just down the hall, but his words reverberated through the room like a gong.

“I thought you were marrying Sofie.” By now her voice was flat and final. “I didn’t see you settling down with someone like me—marriage, commitment, kids. I thought you would ultimately choose her.”

“Could you have asked me?” His shoulders slumped under the futility of this discussion. “Could you have checked before you took the irreversible step of marrying my best friend?”

“As long as you know itisirreversible.” He’d never seen her soft face so stony.

“What do you think I want? An affair? You think I want you to cheat on the man who’s been like a brother to me?”

“No. I’m just saying we can’t ever talk about this again,” she said, her tone low and resolved. “It won’t do us any good. We need to…get past it.”

“Get past it?” He looked at her like she had grown another head. “If you feel even a fraction of what I feel for you—”

“I don’t. Whatever you think you feel or I feel, or whatever, will pass. I’m married.”

“Oh, you don’t have to remind me of that.” The words dissolved on his tongue like a bitter pill. “Just don’t expect me to stand around and watch it.”

“What do you mean?”

He closed his eyes, exhaling deeply. This was so hard, but he had to do it.

“I don’t want to see you, Kerris.” It was a lie, but it was the truth, too. “And for a while, I don’t think I should see Cam, either. I’ll come home when absolutely necessary, but other than that…”

“You’re the best friend Cam has.” Her voice was wet with tears. “Please don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t do this. Not to Cam. Not to us. It’s too much.”

Walsh left the kitchen without allowing himself one more look at her. He went down the hall to where Cam was playing cards, gesturing for him to step out onto the privacy of the front porch.

“I’ll let you get back to the game in a sec.” Walsh shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “My dad is riding me hard on this acquisition, and I don’t know when I’ll be home again.”

“All right.” Walsh could feel Cam searching his face, but he couldn’t meet his best friend’s eyes. “Sure it’s just work?”

“What d’you mean?” Walsh raised one brow to underscore how very sure he was that it was work.

“I mean, I don’t know. It seems like you haven’t been around all year. Just doesn’t feel right.”

“Unavoidable.” Walsh shrugged for good measure.

“Well, you may be an uncle soon. You’ll at least have to come home for that.”

“Kerris is pregnant already?” Walsh’s gut wrenched at the thought, his eyes burning.

“Not yet, but we’ve thrown her pills out.” Cam smiled sheepishly. “You know how bad she’s always wanted kids.”

“Yeah.” Insides withering, Walsh tried to assemble a smile from the scraps he had left. “I do know that.”

“I’ll keep you posted.”

“You do that.” Walsh looked into his friend’s face for what felt like the last time.

He knew it wasn’t; he hoped that somehow he’d be able to exorcise Kerris from his system and reinsert himself back into Cam’s life someday soon. Right now, he couldn’t envision a time when the sight of her didn’t make his pulse pound and his heart constrict. He wanted to be the one holding her at night and waking up with her in the morning. To be the one laughing with her and taking care of her, spoiling her the way she deserved. He wanted to be the father of her children, and that would never be. The finality of that burned like acid through the blood racing toward his heart.

“I won’t be around much for a while.” Walsh reached for his wallet. “But if you need me, if you need anything, call me. And if you can’t get a hold of me for some reason, I have an assistant now, Trisha McAvery. Her number’s on the back of my card.”

Cam accepted the proffered card, but his eyes never strayed from Walsh’s face.

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