Page 29 of Whispers of the Dryad

“You think about your ex sometimes, too,” Dolus pointed out.I bristled, balling my hands into fists.“And the idea doesn’t make you happy, either,” Dolus said, glancing down at my hands.“Does that mean she should be upset with you, too?”

“It’s not the same,” I countered, but maybe it really was exactly the same.“When I think about Ava, I hate her.I only think about her when I think about what she’s done to me.There’s no love anymore—there hasn’t been for a long time.If I think about it, it’s to compare her to Lorraine and to see how much she was lacking.”

“Ah,” Dolus said.“But you do think about her.”

I sighed.“Yeah, well, that’s the reason I wanted to get out of this hellhole in the first place—I wanted to get away from all the memories that haunt me.I guess it won’t make a difference, though.”

“Why not?”Dolus asked.“Because it doesn’t change anything.No matter where I go, I’ll still be the same person with the same past.I’ll still have my memories, which means that Lorraine and Ava will both be coming with me, at least in my mind.”

“Ah, you see, that’s what I’m here to talk to you about,” Dolus said.I relaxed my hands as the anger faded away and frowned at Dolus.“What do you want to talk about?”

“Your choice to go or stay.”

“I still have time to decide,” I pointed out.“Well, yeah.”Dolus shrugged and pushed his hands between the dark folds of his clothes, putting them in pockets I couldn’t see.“You can’t make an informed decision, no matter how much time you have, if you don’t know all the facts.”

“You mean, like where I’ll be going?”I asked.Was he really going to let me in on that when he hadn’t been willing to tell me before?Dolus snorted.“No, that I won’t tell you.I told you before, it doesn’t work that way.”

I stifled a groan.Dolus was showing his true colors more and more and talking about facts—he was more full of shit than I’d thought at first.“There are other things that will count in your favor, though,” Dolus said.“Like what?”

“The memories, the past that you keep referring to, saying that it will go with you—that won’t happen.”

“What do you mean?”I asked and stopped walking, turning so I could face Dolus.We were in a part of the forest I didn’t usually visit, and I set my magic across the trees, looking for other druses who might be listening in on the conversation.We were completely alone.“I mean, if you decide to go, you won’t take your memories with you.You’ll start from scratch with a clean slate.You’ll forget all about Ava.”

I blinked at Dolus.Could it really be?After all this time living with the memories of what she’d done to me, I could finally be free of them?It was nearly enough to make me agree to do it then and there, but something pulled me up short.“What about Lorraine?”I asked.“I’m not letting her go with you,” Dolus said tightly.“That’s not how this works?—”

“Will I forget her, too?”

“Memories are memories, Ash,” Dolus said.“We don’t get to pick and choose which ones we lose and which we keep.If you go and you forget it all, you forget it all.”

Could I do that?Could I risk losing the memories of Lorraine?A life without knowing her would be so empty and bland.She’d brought color and life back into my world when I’d thought I’d lost it forever, and to give that all up…

“No one said that’s a bad thing,” Dolus added.“You’re already worried about the pain of losing her if you choose to go.Well, this solves that for you, doesn’t it?”

You can’t miss something you never knew you had.”

I hesitated.That was true, and if Lorraine did decide to go back to her world, and I decided to stay so we called it quits, the pain of losing Lorraine would be so much worse than the pain had been when I’d lost Ava.“Why will I lose my memories?”I asked.Dolus grinned a broad smile at me that showed me all his teeth.The smile was supposed to be friendly—I think—but it came across like a smirk instead.“It doesn’t usually happen that way, but I pulled some strings for you.”

“Why?”I asked, suspicious.“Because I wanted to make the decision a little easier for you, you know?Sweeten the deal.”

I shook my head, trying to sort out my thoughts.“Why would you do something like that for me?”

“I told you,” Dolus said, that grin changing, becoming even more sly.“We’re friends.”

Yeah, that wasn’t something I believed when he grinned at me like that.“It’s just some food for thought.The decision is still up to you; I just thought I’d give you something to chew on.Of course, the sooner you decide, the better, so if you can make that choice before All Hallows’ Eve, I’d recommend it.”

“Why?”I asked, suspicious of anything that came out of Dolus’s mouth now.I wasn’t sure what had changed about the way he did things, but I trusted him less and less.Was it because everyone kept hammering on that he was the god of deceit and that got to me?Or was it something else?“A plan that has an expiration date is really much better the sooner you can execute it,” Dolus said.“I’ll check in with you soon.You deserve some time to think about a distraction.”

With that, Dolus disappeared and I stood between the trees alone.The wind shifted and changed, becoming cold on my skin, and I broke out in shivers.I felt empty and hollow, like the trees around me without the spirits that occupied them.The idea of losing Lorraine made me sick.The idea of never knowing she existed made me want to throw up, twisting my insides until I was nothing but a ball of anxiety and panic.Wasn’t this exactly why it was a good idea to let her go and forget about her if this didn’t work out?If I didn’t remember her, I wouldn’t feel like this.When I’d lost Ava, the thought of her had made me physically ill, too.Even after all these years, thinking about her made me feel bitter, a fire of pure hatred burning inside me.All of that would be gone, and I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.The downside was that I wouldn’t know I’d ever known and loved Lorraine.I wanted to forget Ava, but Lorraine wasn’t someone I wanted to forget.I loved her, and her beauty and purity of heart was something I wanted to hold onto forever.Would I still feel that way after we decided it was over and went back to our respective lives?I didn’t know, and not knowing drove me crazy.I turned around and headed back to the cabin.I had to find her, talk to her.I had to touch her, feel her.Was I going to lose it all?If I was, I wanted to hold onto as much as I could before it was all over.I couldn’t imagine a life without Lorraine, but if I chose to, I wouldn’t have to.I couldn’t imagine giving up the memories of her, and that ripped me apart.How could I decide?Dolus had given me an easy out by telling me I’d get rid of all my memories, but at the same time, there was nothing easy about it at all.

ChapterTwenty-Seven

Lorraine

Ifelt him coming before I heard him.

Ash’s presence tugged at me, and I felt him approaching, his magic growing thicker and thicker in the cabin all around me.By the time he crashed through the cabin door, slamming it open into the living room, his presence was so thick in the air it was hard to breathe anything else.“What’s wrong?”I asked.Ash’s blue eyes were bright, and the expression on his face was unlike anything I’d ever seen before.His lips were parted and his chest rose and fell as he panted, as if he’d run for a long time.His cheeks had bright pink spots on them, but it was the sensation of urgency that came with him that really drew my attention.I stood from the couch where I’d been sitting and walked to Ash.I reached up for him, but I hesitated, unsure about touching him.He was like a live wire, charged with some kind of magical energy.He was larger than life, his presence so dominating that it was all that existed, but the look in his eyes gave me a sense of fragility that was out of place.A part of me was scared that if I touched him, he would disappear as if he’d never existed.“What’s wrong?”I asked again.Ash closed the distance between us.He cupped my cheek, his large hand hot on my skin.He stroked my cheekbone with his thumb, and his eyes roamed my face as if he was trying to find an answer in my own eyes, as if he was trying to commit every part of me to memory.“Ash, talk to me,” I said.He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but no words came out.His eyes bored into mine, and I felt like he could see my very soul.Our bodies pressed against each other, and he kissed me.The kiss was urgent right away.With his body against mine, his hand on my cheek, on my neck, in my hair, and his tongue in my mouth, he tried to tell me what his words couldn’t manage to.I didn’t know what he was saying.All I knew was that the magic grew stronger and stronger as he kissed me, and I ached for him in a way that I wasn’t able to put to words either.Ash asked me a question with his body, and my body was ready to answer.I was wet in no time, with a longing for him deep at my core.“Ash,” I breathed his name.He wrapped a thick arm around me, and I gasped when he lifted me.He carried me onto the fur rug that lay before the fire, kicking the coffee table aside as if it was nothing.When he laid me down on the rug, I moaned as he pinned me down with his body.His cock grew thick in his pants, and he gyrated against me, bucking his hips.He was hard for me, eager.He wanted me, and I wanted him, too.I wanted him as close as he could possibly get, buried inside of me so that I didn’t know where I ended and he started.I didn’t know what was going on.All I knew was that the magic that grew and the way our bodies fit together right now was right.That was all that mattered.I had to be with Ash, and he clearly felt the same.I was his, and he was mine, and nothing else in the world mattered but the fact that we were together.His hands roamed my body, and I moaned when he cupped my breast with one large hand.He squeezed and kneaded and massaged, working me up into a frenzy.He kissed me like he wanted to devour me, and I whimpered at the back of my throat as he worked me up more and more.Ash didn’t rip my clothes off the way I’d expected him to in his urgency.He’d done it before, but this time, he carefully peeled my shirt up.His hands were rough on my skin, and goosebumps stretched over my body as he leaned to the side and traced my curves.

He broke the kiss so we could get rid of my shirt, and I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra so that I was topless.I pulled his shirt over his head so that he was topless, too.I loved the feel of his skin against mine without any barrier between us.I wanted to be as close as possible with nothing in between.Ash looked down at my body with reverence, as if he’d never seen me naked before.My nipples tightened in the cold air of the room.I pushed up on my elbow and wrapped my arm around his waist.I couldn’t reach all the way around him—Ash’s muscular body was as broad as he was tall, and he was a sight to behold.I planted kisses on his torso, working my way up.I nibbled and licked and kissed his skin, and Ash let out groans and growls that were deliciously primal.His muscles trembled under his skin, a sign that I was working him up as much as he’d driven me wild.He was exercising great self-control not to just pin me down and fuck me.I wanted him to do that, but I wanted to worship his body as much as he always worshipped mine.When I pushed my hands against his chest to get him to roll over, Ash obliged.He rolled onto his back, and his eyes locked on mine.They were filled with an animalistic hunger I’d seen so many times before, but there was something else in those eyes, too.Emotion.Affection.Adoration.The emotions were so intense, burning right into my soul, and I shivered under the weight of it.I felt the same about him—Ash wasn’t just the man I lusted after anymore, the savior who had also come to me again and again to have sex with me.He’d become so much more to me—someone I cared for very deeply.Ash wasn’t very good at putting his feelings into words.Most of the time, it wasn’t hard for me to say what I felt, but with Ash, the intensity of my emotions was more than I could put to words myself.Everything about him was different.Instead of talking, instead of saying what I felt and what I experienced, I did what Ash was doing and showed him.I worked my way down his chest, licking and sucking as I went along, tasting every inch of him.His broad torso was chiseled, the muscles moving in bunches under his skin as they contracted with pleasure.I worked my way over his chest and down his abs.His body jerked when I scraped my teeth over his ribs, and he groaned when I pulled down his pants, working them over his hips.I kissed him over his lower abdomen, planting kisses along his hips.When I worked his pants down his legs, I kissed his thighs, and his cock twitched, hard and eager.I wanted to tease Ash more, but I also wanted him so badly that I didn’t push it any further than I could bear.When I closed my mouth around Ash’s cock, he sucked his breath in through his teeth and groaned.I wrapped my fingers around his shaft, closing the distance between what I could cover with my mouth and his base.His size was impressive.Slowly, I bobbed my head up and down.I stroked him in and out of my mouth, sucking harder and faster.Ash’s body tightened, his muscles contracting, and he curled his body forward when I cupped his balls in my free hand and massaged them while I sucked him off.He growled, his lips curled back from his teeth.Judging by the way his cock jerked and hardened more and more in my mouth, he was creeping closer to orgasm.Before he got too close, I pulled back.By now, I knew how to tell when he was about to come, and I didn’t want to end it here.Not yet.

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