Page 26 of Whispers of the Dryad

“Isn’t it?”he asked.

I sat down on the sand and pulled my knees up, resting my arms on it.“I don’t know anymore.I had this plan for so long.I just wanted to get the fuck out of here.Then things changed, and the choice was here or wherever he wants to put me, but now… Lorraine is in the mix, too.As if I wasn’t already confused enough.”

Rowan shook his head.“Talk me through it.I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”

I sighed and told Rowan about my options: going to wherever Dolus wanted to put me, staying here as a drus, or becoming human so that I could go home with Lorraine when she decided to leave.As I talked, Rowan’s emotions fluctuated, and it was clear on his face that he was as surprised as he was confused.“Okay, let me get this straight,” Rowan said when I finished.“Dolus aside… you’re considering giving up your immortality?Again?”

I sighed.“I know it sounds crazy.”

“Crazy is an understatement, especially with what happened the last time?—”

“That’s exactly the problem,” I said.“You have no idea how serious I am about her.”

“If you’re considering giving up your immortality again, then I’m pretty sure you’re dead serious about this.I think I get the idea.I just don’t get why you would want to risk that again.”

“Yeah, that’s what’s holding me back from taking the leap.I’m terrified that as soon as I decide to give it all up, she changes her mind.I know she’s not like Ava, and I’m so much more invested and involved in her life.I mean, I know her sister and?—”

“You know her sister?”Rowan asked, his frown deepening.“How?”

I swallowed hard.“I met her.I took Lorraine to spend some time with her.I wanted to do something special since she’s been cooped up here against her will for so long.”

“That’s… really nice of you,” Rowan said.“Very different than the selfish, isolated SOB I’ve come to know.”

I chuckled.“Fuck you, man.”

“Hey, I’m just saying, you haven’t exactly been a treat to live with.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, my laughter failing.“The thing is, with Lorraine, I think the chances of her just leaving me are slimmer because what we have is real.Compared to what I had with Ava, I was a fool to think it would work out at all.I’ve learned what it should be like.”

“It doesn’t sound like a problem to me, then,” Rowan said.“Well, it is, because if I do lose her, then it will be so much worse than losing Ava had been, because I’m this much more attached and involved.It’s not just straightforward anymore, and I’m not even talking about what it would mean to give all this up and live as a mortal on Earth.”

“Hmm,” Rowan said, nodding.“It’s a tough one.What does Lorraine say?”

“She’s upset I hesitated to say I would give it all up for her if I expected her to give it all up for me.”

Rowan frowned.“What does she mean, her giving it all up for you?”

Oh, right.I hadn’t talked to Rowan about that part yet.I hadn’t talked to anyone about it.“I went to the library and found a book about Nasia and Thalis, the immortal who brought a human here.They did it, so I thought if I could figure out how it worked—find them and ask them about it—then I could have Lorraine stay here with me instead of me going to Earth with her.”

Rowan narrowed his eyes at me.“So, you want her to give it all up to stay here, so that you can protect yourself in case it doesn’t work out?The less you sacrifice, the less you lose?”

“It sounds shit when you put it like that,” I said grimly.

It was pretty much exactly what it was, though.Rowan had hit the nail on the head, pointing out to me that I was a pussy.“Is it so wrong to want her to stay here with me?”I asked, trying to defend myself.“You want Clea to be here with you, too, right?”

“It’s not the same when we’re both enchanted beings,” Rowan pointed out, and I couldn’t argue with him about that.I let out a sigh so deep my cheeks billowed.“I just don’t know which way to turn.Stay here, leave with Dolus, or go to Earth?”

“What makes you hesitate about going with Dolus?”Rowan asked.“It was exactly what you wanted before.”

“Yeah, but something doesn’t seem right about it.I can’t put my finger on it.He doesn’t want to tell me what the new thing is he organized for me.”

Rowan was silent as he thought about it.“He is the god of deceit,” he finally pointed out.

“Yeah, but that’s not the reason he doesn’t want to tell me.He says it’s so I can’t just change my mind when I feel like it, since I keep flailing around.He wants me to commit because it’s what I want and not because it sounds better or worse than what I already have.I kind of get what he’s saying, because I have been fucking around.A lot.”

Rowan snorted.“I’ve been saying that for decades.”

I rolled my eyes.“I keep thinking that if things go south with Lorraine, it will be easier for me to just go with Dolus and get it over with, the way I’d wanted all along.If I leave her behind and do my own thing, then I can’t get hurt.”

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