Page 46 of From Frost to Flame

Silas wanted Lex to be his more than anything, but if he could go back in time and save him, he would. He’d give up all his happiness to spare him from such a horrid fate.

“I was wailing like all starving fledglings, but I didn’t understand that I needed blood yet. Michael appeared out of the dark with a mob. I was so weak I didn’t stand a chance. They dragged me to the graveyard while they screamed, ‘Burn him. Stake him. Take out the heart and tongue.’ All those legends about how to put vampires down. They didn’t care that I was a victim of the raid. They just kept screaming, and Michael threw me in the coffin without a second thought. I watched him nail me in through the cracks in the lid. I begged for him not to do it, but he just grabbed his shovel and buried me alive with the support of the town.”

“Because he was a pathetic little man,” Silas spat. He was already resigned to destroying Michael’s entire family line and tracking down this trio of vampires. Their deaths would be a gift to Lex one day. “How’d you get out of the coffin?”

“I didn’t, at first. Underground, I discovered I couldn’t die. I screamed until my voice went out. I clawed at the lid of the coffin until my fingertips split open and my nails were ragged. Then, it rained. The storm filled it inch by inch until it swallowed my screams. I laid there with burning lungs in suspended suffocation. I prayed to a god I no longer believed in for a death that never came. It took days for the water to drain. Then, it rained again. It happened like this again and again and again. Our village was fertile farmland because the springs were damp. I spent my first few months as a vampire underground endlessly drowning. I still can’t be fully underwater without panicking.

“One night, when water poured in again, I just got so angry. Angry at Michael. The vampires. Angry at the world. I was nothing but rage in that murky water and my hands ignited for the first time. I thought I was hallucinating, but I trusted it because I had nothing else left. I pressed my palms against the lid, and with all my rage, I blew myself out. I didn’t believe it at first, but as the cloud of dirt and steam dissipated, I saw the stars again.” Lex smiled up at the cloudy thundering sky. “I was never so thankful to see them. I crawled out of my muddy grave on trembling arms. Then, I went home and killed Michael.

“I told him to beg me to live like I did that night. He sobbed and pleaded. Then I burned him alive. I burned him and our stupid home to ashes. Then, on the way out, I torched the whole town. Everyone who buried me went up in smoke. I massacred them all before sunrise. After the vampire raid and me, it was deemed cursed land by the humans, so they never rebuilt. Perhaps it is cursed.”

Silas was speechless. Lex didn’t like killing anything if it could be avoided. He would carry spiders from the castle to the garden and tend to wounded birds. Picturing him ruthlessly burning a town was impossible.

“In the end, I was no better than Michael or the vampires that did this to me. I’m ashamed of what I did. I try to make up for it now by not being careless with humans. I don’t kill if I can help it, but I don’t know if I can ever make it right.”

“Lex, you were locked in a coffin and tortured for months. It’s understandable.”

“It doesn’t make it right. I don’t talk about this often. Not because it hurts, but because it’s a mostly closed wound. Obviously, it bubbles up and impacts me sometimes like it did when I fell in the water, but most days it’s a fuzzy past.” He glanced at Silas. “When the pain was fresh, vampires would ask how I turned, and I couldn’t speak. I always reacted like you did when I asked you what was going on between you and The Ravenous One.”

Silas felt the burn of tears as Lex’s words hit his heart.

“I understand what it’s like to hold something that makes you so ashamed you can’t speak of it.” He looked at Silas and smiled. “I understand enough. The Ravenous One threatened me, and you did your best to keep me safe. I don’t like what you did but you apologized, and I can work on forgiving you. Whatever else is going on, or happened, I don’t need to know.” He took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “You never have to bleed for me, Silas.”

Silas let out a sob as relief washed over him. It was a grace he didn’t deserve and hadn’t realized he needed. He wasn’t ready to talk about it but wasn’t aware of how unready he was until Lex offered an out as a gift. “I’ll tell you someday. I promise.”

“If that’s what you want,” Lex said, but his indifference was sincere. “So, I’m your mate. What does that mean for us now?”

“First.” Silas cupped his cheek and brushed it with a thumb. “I want to tell you I am so incredibly proud of you.”

“Proud of me?”

“For what you did in the past. For what you survived. I couldn’t have made it through something so horrifying. You are so much braver and stronger than I, or anyone else, gives you credit for. I am in awe of you.”

“Thanks,” Lex said with a shy smile.

“Second, if you’re willing, I want us to try again. I understand if you’re not ready, or you want to wait until you can forgive me. I’ll wait for you if that’s what you need. I’ll do whatever it takes. I love you and I want you back. I want us back.”

All at once, Silas was tackled backward onto the sand and Lex’s gentle lips were on his. He tasted like home and a future he wanted to be worthy of.

Lex broke the kiss and leaned his forehead on his. “I love you, too.”

His soul sang. All he wanted for the past fifty years was to hear those words. He enveloped Lex in his arms and held him tight, as if holding him would keep time away. “Say it again.”

“I love you,” Lex said with a precious little giggle. “I’ve always loved you.”

He wanted to stay there in the sand, kissing Lex to the sound of salty waves on the shore. Instead, he scooped him up in his arms and stood.

“Come on, Little One. Let’s get you out of the rain.”

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