Page 80 of Bonding with the Beta

“No.” I run a shaky hand through my hair. “With everything else. Things started getting too comfortable, too normal. It was like we were in a relationship, and I’m not ready for that. I agreed to go on the date because of the bet we made, but I’m terrified of what will happen in the future.”

She frowns at me and scoots to the edge of the sofa. “You’re scared you’re going to get hurt?”

I bite my lip and nod as a ball lodges in my throat, making it impossible to swallow. “If I remove myself from the situation now, I can’t end up like I was before. I don’t want to end up like that again, Evie. Everything I put my parents through, you through. I almost ruined my life.”

“Kayleigh,” Evie says gently as she reaches for my hand. “Not every guy is like Josh, okay? I get that you’re worried about putting your trust in someone, but you shouldn’t sabotage something good because you’re scared of history repeating itself. You can’t let those thoughts win.”

I drop my head to my hands. “He took me out for an expensive dinner. He kissed my forehead. He complimented me. He held me all night, even when I was shaking and crying. He didn’t leave until he knew I was okay.”

She stares back at me with a confused look. “I don’t understand. That sounds like perfect boyfriend material. Everyone wants those things.”

“Things that can easily be ripped from me.” I lower my eyes. “Josh started off kind until he turned into an asshole. Anyone can pretend to be someone they’re not.”

The thought of Kayden not being this generous, amazing guy makes my heart drop. I want to believe he’s sincere, but something is stopping me and forcing me to be cautious.

“I don’t want to end up how I was before.” I fight the tears building in my eyes.

Evie flashes me a sympathetic expression. “You won’t. You’re strong. I know you don’t want to end up there again, and you won’t.”

My lips tremble. “I was so irrational. I was so blinded. I was so fucking stupid, and it wasn’t fair on everyone around me. My heart still hurts. It’s not fixed. He broke me, Evie. He shattered me into pieces, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to feel the same again.”

“Just breathe, Kay.” She rubs my arm soothingly.

I open my mouth and suck in a sharp breath.

“You know the welfare desk over at student services might be able to get you some sessions with the therapist,” she says after a few moments. “It might help you come to terms with what you’re feeling. But know I’m here for you every step of the way, okay?”

“Thank you,” I say gratefully before she brings me in for a tight hug. “You are my rock. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

Evie chuckles quietly into my shoulder. “Tell me about it.”

I smile at her words. I need to take one day at a time.

“Shall we do what we do best when we get upset?” She raises a brow with a mischievous glint in her eye.

I blink back the tears and laugh. “Food?”

“Damn, we are the same.” She winks before tugging me up from the sofas into the reading room. “Come on. Let’s get the cheesiest pizza possible!”

My heart clenches at how lucky I am to have Evie in my life.

How has she put up with me over the last year?

She is the definition of a best friend, and I realise that I need to be a better friend in return. I need to get my shit sorted, and I need to be a person I’m proud to be.

25

KAYDEN

After a long day at the district committee meeting with Sebastian, I write up notes in Jaxon’s office before creating a new schedule for the pack with all the information from today.

A new pack has joined the district and desperately needs donations of all kinds. I don’t know exactly where they came from, but from what I can gather, they’ve been through hell and back. It’s our job to help them feel welcome—we’re allies, after all, and we agreed to look after one another.

We’ve already got a list of volunteers to help their pack integrate, and now we need to gather any resources to help out. The Goddess knows we were treated with kindness by this district when we moved here after being shunned from our previous district; we owe them everything.

Sebastian calls a training session, and I stand back to watch with my arms folded over my chest. I have to admit he’s been doing an incredible job switching up the sessions, including tackling personal weaknesses to grow as a group in both their human and wolf forms.

The sound of shouting has me stepping forward until Sebastian runs forward, and I join him. A loud cry of pain entersmy ear as I stare down at Evan as he clutches his ankle and groans. “Oh, shit. I think I’ve broken it.”

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