Page 162 of Bonding with the Beta

“What about your bond?”

I clear my throat. “The bond wasn’t really there. The bond was nothing. You and I have more of a connection than I did with her. Please believe me.”

Kayleigh blinks and glances at the wall, her expression twitching as she thinks. “But what if you had a genuine bond with her? You wouldn’t be trying to get me back. You’d be with her, not me.”

“That still wouldn’t have taken away from the fact that I love you.” My chest heaves.

“Don’t—”

“A mate bond might be vital to some, but the things I feel for you when we’re together—that’s magic in its own sense. It’s euphoric, beautiful, and breathtaking, and I don’t want anything else. I’llneverwant anything else. All I want is you.”

Kayleigh places her head in her hands and cries silently. I resist the urge to reach out and wrap my arms around her, draw her into my chest and kiss her forehead over and over, promising that I’ll make it up to her.

“I think you should go.”

“Don’t do this.” My voice cracks.

She wipes her face and glances at me with exhausted eyes. “I’m not going to be your second choice. I’m not going to be your bit on the side because the real deal isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.”

I charge across the room and clutch her face between my hands, tilting her eyes to mine as I stare down at her. “You have been and will always be my number one, Kayleigh. Don’t you see that? There will be no one else after you.No one.”

“How can I trust you again?” she crumbles against me. “How can I trust that you won’t realise that you’ve made a mistake and go back to her? Because I can’t compete with what Ava and Jaxon have. You can have that with her.”

“I can’t,” I say through gritted teeth.

I need her to know the truth without freaking her out.

My forehead rests against hers, and I listen to her erratic breathing. “I’d rather tear out my own fucking heart than ever hurt you again.”

Kayleigh whimpers and pulls away from my grip, leaving me ice-cold. “This is all a mess,” she murmurs and presses a hand to her forehead. “Such a fucking mess.”

“I need you,” I whisper. “I can’t bear to be without you.”

Her body tenses. “We need time apart.”

Those four words are agony compared to rejecting Harley.

This feels like the end of the world. Rejecting Harley felt like a weight off my shoulders.

A rush of intense pain splashes across my body, and I struggle to keep myself upright.

“Time apart, or are you breaking up with me?” I rasp, not recognising my own voice.

Kayleigh shrugs once. “I don’t know…just—” She pauses. “I need time away from you. I need time to think about what I really want.”

I swallow the razor blades in my throat. “Okay.” I nod once. “But I’ll be waiting for you. No matter how long. I will be waiting.”

“Fine.” She folds her arms over her chest and turns towards the wall. “Please, can you go?”

My eyes focus on the back of her head for a long moment, but standing here and not acknowledging her request will only make things worse. I run my teeth over my lip and exhale through my nose. I walk towards her door and linger for a second.

“Just know I will love you in every lifetime.”

Then I leave with my heart on the doorstep.

53

KAYLEIGH

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