Page 130 of Bonding with the Beta

“I dare you to go to the dean.” He chuckles and folds his arms over his chest. “And I’ll be there right behind you.”

My jaw clenches as hot-white fury burns through me.

“Oh, and Kayleigh?” Josh calls as I attempt to turn away. I don’t know why I stop. I shouldn’t give him the time of day. “You once asked me why I treated you the way I did…well, I didit because you made it so fucking easy to. No doubt this new boyfriend is going to walk all over you, too.”

The desire to scream excessive curse words flies up my throat, but I choke them down. My fists tighten, and I resist the urge to do more damage to his face; instead, I just shake my head. “Stay the hell away from me.”

I turn and stalk out of the courtyard, trying to ignore the stares and whispers, but it’s impossible. Everyone saw and heard.

The second I walk through the SU bar and head towards my dorm room, my chest begins to heave uncontrollably. I manage to reach my room without collapsing.

My blood boils beneath my skin, and I want to scream at the top of my lungs.

How did I spend months with that monster?

Did I really hate myself that much?

Why was I too weak to walk away?

Because you make it fucking easy to.

I bury my head in my hands and release silent tears.

My hands fumble with my phone as I swipe to find Kayden’s number. I need to hear his voice. I need to hear the calmness and let myself take a breath that has been suffocating me for too long.

When the dial tone rings out, I curse myself, fire running through my veins.

A second later, my phone is flooded with texts and calls from Jessica and Craig, both asking what the hell happened with Josh. I scoff at the audacity like they give a shit about me.

The endless vibrations make me flinch, and I drop my phone onto my bed, not having the strength to deal with this right now. My eyes clench shut, and I want everything to stop.

I stand in the centre of my room and look at the four walls surrounding me. My fingers lace through my hair, and Igrip harshly, desperately wishing these negative thoughts would leave my mind.

The pressure inside my skull feels like I’m about to combust.

I need to get out of here.

I need air before I choke.

A second later, I rush out of my dorm room and head through campus. I don’t look, I walk. And I refuse to stop until my mind is silent.

43

KAYLEIGH

Idon’t like my brain. I don’t like my thoughts. I don’t like myself.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought this walk would help clear the fog behind my eyes, but I knew it wouldn’t solve anything. I’ve been fighting this battle and losing for a long, long time.

My weakness for not doing anything at the time.

I allowed myself to be walked all over.

By the time I reach my dorm room an hour later, I pause when I find Kayden sitting on the edge of my bed, his elbows on his knees. His brown eyes immediately shift to mine as he watches me walk in.

He throws his head back and drops his phone to the bed, a strained sigh booming from the back of his throat as he stands and runs a hand through his tousled hair.

My entire body turns cold, and I clasp my hands over my elbows to make myself smaller—but it’s no use.

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