Page 20 of Snowy Secrets

My throat feels heavy all of a sudden.

"You shouldn't have left me like you did," I mutter angrily at the wind roaring outside. Thick snowfall blankets everything but offers no mercy. It falls relentlessly. I move to the next room, atiny little entertainment area complete with a sofa in front of a television and a fireplace.

"May as well warm this place up a little," I intone. I start a small fire and drop down on an ottoman in front of it, staring moodily at the crackling, crisp golden flames. So many memories…too many of them. In fact, I'd made peace with the idea that I'd live all alone with my thoughts until I grew old and died. Life has become simple these days, with just a bit of back and forth from the barn and garden and the cabin. I make what I need, I'm a reasonably good cook, and I prefer to stay out of trouble.

Sarah was the only one who teased that side out of me. Both army brats, we had met at a party when we were just nineteen.

The flames dance in front of me, casting shadows that flicker and twist on the walls of the old cabin. Outside, the snowstorm howls like a pack of wolves, but in here, it's just me, the fire, and my memories. The bitter wind outside has nothing on the chill in my heart. I pull my worn leather jacket tighter around me and stare into the fire, letting the past wash over me.

The party I met Sarah at was one of those rowdy affairs where the testosterone levels were through the roof and the alcohol flowed like water. She stood out like a goddess in the midst of all the grunts and camouflage. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile that could melt the Antarctic. I had swaggered up to her, full of misplaced bravado.

"Hey there, I must have lost my number. Can I have yours?" I had said, flashing what I thought was a winning smile.

She had laughed, a sound that would haunt my dreams in the best way possible for the rest of my life. "That's the best you've got, Soldier? You need to work on your lines."

"Lines are for amateurs. I prefer the direct approach," I shot back, raising an eyebrow.

From that moment on, we were inseparable. We danced, we laughed, we made every moment count. And when she said yes to my proposal, I felt like I'd won the lottery.

Years passed, the best years of my life. But life, as it often does, had other plans. Sarah was diagnosed with cancer. We fought it, she fought it, and we thought we had won. But cancer is a tricky bastard, always lurking, waiting for its chance.

I was deployed when she found out it was back. I got the news through a letter, the old-fashioned way. It was like being punched in the gut by a heavyweight champion. I tried everything to get back, but duty called, and red tape is thicker than blood.

By the time I returned, she was almost gone. The house felt empty, like a shell of its former self. I found her in our bedroom, frail but still smiling. Always smiling.

"You look like hell, soldier," she said, her voice weak but playful.

"I could say the same for you, but I don't want to be a liar," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.

She laughed, then winced. "Don't make me laugh. It hurts."

"Sorry, but you know I can't help it," I said, sitting beside her, holding her hand. "I'm back now. I'll make it all better."

"You always think you can fix everything," she whispered, squeezing my hand. "But this isn't one of those things. Promise me something?"

"Anything," I said, my throat tight.

"Promise me you'll find someone else. Someone to share this long, stupid life with," she said, her eyes boring into mine.

"You're it for me, Sarah. There's no one else," I said, my voice cracking.

"Stop being an idiot. Life's too short. Promise me," she insisted.

I nodded, tears I didn't know were in my eyes spilling over. "I promise."

She smiled a small, contented smile, and closed her eyes. That was the last time I saw her smile.

Now, as I sit here in front of the fire, I can't help but chuckle bitterly.Find someone else, she had said, as if there could ever be anyone else like her. I didn't think it would be remotely possible, nor did I believe I'd succumb to something like an instant attraction.

If Sarah were looking down on me from heaven, she'd tell me I was on the right track and to make sure I didn't scare Isabella away with too many army jokes. I chuckle slightly and lift my glass to the flames. "To you, Sarah. The only one who ever made me feel alive." I take a long drink, the burn in my throat a welcome distraction from the ache in my heart.

The fire crackles, the storm roars, and I sit here, lost in the past, wondering if I'll ever find my way back.

"Marcus?"

I look up and into a pair of forest-green eyes and an impossibly sweet smile framing an otherwise slightly annoyed face.

"Bella," I say with a slight cough. "Have you finished looking around?"

---