Those were the moments that kept me coming back for more.
But conversations like this made me question if that was sustainable.
I knew for certain that I loved him. That revelation came swiftly and powerfully, sweeping me up and carrying me away before I had the chance to object. Even without our bond, I think I would love him.
But if this was what being loved by him was like, was it worth it? Could I spend the rest of my life living in the shadow of Asher Graves? Could I fight beside him in a war, knowing that he was only doing it to avenge her death?
“What's wrong?” He shifted to rest his head on his arm as he sat against the wall, his naked body on full display.
I didn't want to give my jealous thoughts a voice just yet, so I lifted my shoulders in a noncommittal shrug and pressed my lips together. A tall, thorny wall came up in my mind, effectively blocking him out. Lux had taught me the trick one afternoon after Kyle finally admitted to them that he had the power to look into other people’s minds. It was the only way he could explain to them what he saw in Shane’s mind before he was taken to Rhyse’s home.
I knew what he'd say, anyway.
Asher was dead. There was no use in allowing her to come between us.
But his love for her kept her alive and well in his heart. Her presence was so large, there were times that I didn't think there was possibly any room for me.
“Talk to me, Blaire.”
“I don’t know how this is going to work between us if you can’t let her go.”
Dark brows pinched together, casting a shadow over his eyes. “What? I have let her go. I just told you, I’m in love with you.”
“And in the same breath, you admitted you were only doing all of this to punish him for taking her from you,” I accused.
He leaned forward to sit up beside me, making sure our eyes were level. “You didn’t let me finish. I was saying…” His hands came up to cup my face, stopping me from turning away from him as he said, “that’s what it was about before—I was doing it for them. But now?”
He shook his head with a humorless laugh. “Now, he’s coming after the most precious thing this horrible, treacherous life has offered me. I don’t know how I’m going to survive this when I know I’d destroy myself if it meant keeping you safe.”
My eyes stung as I fought back the tears that were fighting through my stubborn mask. He tugged me forward by my chin, gently placing kisses in the spots where my tears streamed. I threw myself at him, curling into his lap as he held me, his words lingering in the air between them. And I knew they were genuine. I knew he meant them, and I wanted him to know I felt the same.
That I would rip myself to shreds if it meant saving him, too.