Page 23 of Advice from a Sunflower

I park my car against the curb of my childhood home and think back to the moment that led me here. To the call that brought me back to a place I had sworn I’d never return to. I wonder if it was even worth the trouble. I want to blame Marnie for all of it, but I know that would only be in vain. She hadn’t even technically asked me to come, but I knew she wanted me to. And if there was one person I can’t say no to, it’s her.

“Denise is getting married next week. She didn't think you'd come but I thought you should know anyway,” Marnie had somberly explained through the phone.

“Oh.”I didn’t know what to say. How to feel.

My heart immediately disconnected from the situation, numbing itself from any kind of feelings. It was a survival mechanism I learned long ago to protect myself from the constant hurt that came with being Denise's daughter. Then, Marnie explained that she and Josh were done, and he left her for a job and a girl three hours away. I jumped right into comfort mode for Marnie, quickly wracking my brain for any way I could help her through the situation. But the numbness went too deep this time, and I could barely muster a word about it before she was speaking again.

I booked my flight that night and left two days later, dropping everything in my life to be there for my sister when she needed me.

***

It’s dark now, a lonely fog lingering in the air just above my head. The open windows cast a mellow light onto the grass, offering a glimpse right into Marnie’s TV room and the girls on the couch. So far, she’s nowhere to be seen and I can’t decide if that’s a good sign or not.

When I open the front door, I see her sitting on the stairs directly across from me, her head stuck between her knees. She lifts it when she hears the door close behind me, and a sad smile spreads across her chapped lips.

“I didn’t think you’d come back.”

“I shouldn’t have.”

“I’m sorry, Mouse. I didn’t mean what I said. I know you’re just looking out for us.”

She stands just when the girls come running toward me, their feet pitter-pattering against the hardwood floors.

“You’re back!”

“Are we getting ice cream now?”

I send Marnie a forgiving smile, letting her know it was all forgotten.

“You’ll have to ask your mom.”

Chapter 13

Eli

Present

She’s come back after all this time away, somehow even more stunning than before. As if that were possible. As if there was any room for her to become any more perfect than she had been when she left this cesspool.

But that's Mouse. Always pushing boundaries. Always evolving beyond the rest of us and so, so far out of my reach.

She's back and I have a feeling this might be the one and only exception she’ll make to her vow to stay away from this hellhole. Marnie and Denise have always been her one exception.

“Stick your tongue back into your mouth, Eli. You look like a dog,” Marnie scolds from beside me, her arms crossed against her chest.

“You didn’t tell me she’d be here,” I point out accusingly, my brows furrowed deep.

“I didn’t know,” she lies.

I always know when Marnie’s lying, especially when it comes to Mouse. The past seven years have been an uphill battle getting any information about her from Marnie. Eventually, I just gave up.

She was protective of her sister and the relationship they shared, especially after the night I almost ruined it all for them. Ever since I came back home to help Ma out, Marnie’s kept our friendship on a completely different planet than the one she has with Mouse. I’ve been forced to pick up any scraps about her that I could find on my own; a task that I’ve found increasingly easier as she became more successful in her writing career.

Five bestselling novels in the past three years. Book signings and tours all over the globe. Her Facebook profile isn’t even managed by her anymore. She’s hired someone else to do it for her. Rich people do that, I guess.

That’s right, while life has been shitting all over those who have been wilting here in The Hollow, my little sunflower of a best friend bloomed beautiful and bright on a stage for the whole world to see.

And I couldn’t fucking stand her for it.

---