Page 20 of Advice from a Sunflower

A curtain shifts in the front window, startling me on the sidewalk. It’s hard for me to believe there’s people still living there—my family. The house itself looks rundown and dead, yet somewhere inside there’s life.

The red door opens and a little face peeps out. “Are you coming in?” Ally asks, her bright blonde hair and pink dress a stark contrast against the dingey coloring of the house behind her.

I smile at her, tightening the grip on my purse for security as I take the first step toward her.

“Of course.”

She giggles and a second little redhead pops out just below hers.

“And how are you, Gabby Girl?” I ask, earning a toothless grin.

I’ve reached the steps to the porch now and like a magnet, my body feels like it’s being pulled back to my rental car parked in the street. Repelled from this place—away, away, away. I shouldn’t be back here. I wasn’t ever supposed to come back. But they needed me to, and I’ll never be able to deny Marnie or her girls anything.

“Where’s your mom?” I ask as I step into the entryway.

Marnie has painted since I’ve left. Instead of the drab gray that was here before, a deep blue now covers the walls. It has a cheery appearance, but I know what hides beneath. Those walls hold a myriad of secrets.

“She’s up in her room,” Ally’s peppy voice responds. “She’s been there all day.”

Just then, I hear the quiet sobs coming from up the stairs and the girls share a look between them that reminds me too much of my past.

I nod and smile, corralling them into the TV room and away from the stairs. The girls inform me that they don’t have cable, just an old DVD player and a stack of movies.

“Mommy says cable is just a waste of money,” Ally explains.

Gabby nods, gripping a worn, old teddy bear to her chest. “She says if we watch too much TV, our brains will turn into goo.”

The girls giggle at that, talking amongst themselves about mushy brains and goo as I try to get the broken-down DVD player to work. Once I have their movie restarted and they’re settled into the couch, I make my way up the staircase to find Marnie, making a mental note to call the cable company and have something installed as soon as I leave.

“Mar, are you up here?”

The cries have stopped, leaving an eerie silence in their wake. I check our old bedroom and the bathroom as I walk by, dread settling into my stomach as the memories come racing back. A sniffle sounds at the end of the hall, and I push down my own feelings to follow it.

She looks deflated. Worn down, just like the house. Nothing like the woman I left seven years ago for college, or the one I’ve visited with since.

“You came,” her tired voice fills the silent room, followed by another loud sniffle.

“Of course, I did, Marnie.”

“He left.”

My heart drops into my stomach. I know he left. That’s part of why I’m here in the first place; to mend her broken heart.

“I know.”

"How am I going to tell them?"

Without warning, a loud sob escapes Marnie’s lips, her entire body bouncing from the movement. I bite my lip to stifle my own emotions, because it all feels so wrong to me. Too familiar. It’s the exact reason I left this place and never looked back. Suddenly, I’m an eighteen-year-old girl again, and I need to let Marnie have her moment.

It’s her turn, after all.

I turn my back on my sobbing sister and walk out of the room, leaning against the wall across from Denise’s doorway for support. Or I suppose it’s Marnie’s doorway now. All I know is that this place and its memories are haunting me. Taking me back to a time I swore I’d never return to. A person I swore I’d never become again.

“Aunt Lyla, are you okay?” Ally’s voice echoes through the empty hall, pulling me back to the present just as the old memories start to pull me under.

I wipe away at the tears streaming down my face and force a smile. “I am. I just had a moment.”

“A moment?” she questions, her nose scrunching up in curiosity.

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