Page 18 of Advice from a Sunflower

Twenty years old

I took a redeye flight back to The Hollow over the weekend.

It’s been nearly two years since the last time I’ve done this. Even as I sit here on the plane, I can’t help but be grateful for the changes that have come during that time. I’m not the same scared girl that left to chase her dreams. I’m not the same woman who made a promise to her firstborn niece that she would get her out of there with no clue how she would do it. I’ve managed to build a life outside of this soul-sucking town; one that I’m proud of.

I’m headed back to The Hollow to meet my second niece. Marnie called me seven months ago to the day to tell me about her positive pregnancy test. We were both so happy and squealing through the line, neither of us even considered what the stress of a second baby might do to her. That is, until Denise cut the call short with a loud scream that woke Ally up from her nap. According to Marnie, she was less than thrilled about the new addition to the family, already griping about the space that “the other one” took up. I begged her to come out and live with me constantly, but she always politely declined, claiming that Josh didn’t want to pick up and leave his family to move so far away.

In truth, I believe Marnie got pregnant again to mend her broken relationship with the girls’ father. Naturally, it didn’t work. The stress of supporting their small family on one income had them falling into a dysfunctional routine shortly after Ally was born. Their relationship went on the back burner and resentment settled in. She wanted him to be more present at home. He wanted her to appreciate his efforts to support them. Neither was able to see the other one's side.

It was heartbreaking watching their relationship crumble under the stress of simply loving each other so much, they couldn't see that it was breaking them apart. According to Dottie, both Josh and Denise were nowhere to be seen tonight as Marnie delivered the baby. She walked into the hospital with soaked pants and a toddler clinging to her hip, calmly telling the nurses she was in labor and the baby was coming any minute.

Twenty minutes later, my niece was born in the triage room while Ally sat in a chair beside her. When Dottie explained the night to me, my heart shattered for Marnie. She didn’t deserve this. I just wished she was able to see that, too.

“How are you feeling?” I ask as I enter the hospital room.

It’s early in the morning by the time I make it to her, the hospital already buzzing for the day as a new shift takes over. Marnie looks worn down and tired, more so than I’ve ever seen her before. She lifts her shoulders in a pathetic shrug and then returns her gaze to the TV above.

Ally notices me from her spot on the couch and toddles over, her face bright with excitement. “Aunt!”

I grab her up and kiss her cheeks and neck, igniting a fit of loud giggles that have her mother wincing in pain across the room. When she’s calmed down, I walk us over to the bassinet sitting beside the hospital bed and gaze down at the angel inside.

She looks nothing like her sister, or even Marnie for that matter. In fact, her round cheeks and pointed nose resemble mine more than anyone else’s. I suppose she favors mine and Marnie’s father, the poor girl. I reach down to brush my fingers against the dusting of auburn hair sitting on top of her perfectly round head.

“Sister,” Ally says, pointing a finger down at the sleeping baby below us.

I nod and smile, pleased with how well her speech has been forming lately. I should’ve never worried about it with Marnie’s obsessive teaching skills.

“Go ahead and say it,” Marnie grumbles, the first words she’s spoken aloud since I walked into the room.

“Say what?”

“She looks exactly like you!”

I purse my lips, staring down at the baby again to buy myself some time. She does look like me, but Marnie doesn’t seem to be happy about that and I can’t decide if that pleases or offends me. When I look back over at my sister, she’s biting back a smile.

“She does,” I concede, a chuckle leaving my mouth with the last word.

Marnie lets out a loud cackle, her eyes quickly widening in surprise at the noise that has escaped her. That only results in more, until she’s howling so hard, she can’t even stop to take a breath. I watch in confused amazement, a couple of giggles hesitantly leaving my mouth as I consider whether it’s appropriate to laugh with her or call a nurse in and have her checked. She’s holding her abdomen and wincing in pain but can’t seem to stop laughing. Ally joins in, mocking her mother’s ridiculous laugh with a version of her own that makes us all sound like we were having a fit.

The nurse peaks her head in and stares at us in confusion. I shrug and smile, shaking my head at the two maniacs I’m stuck in the room with just as the baby lets out a soft cry. Marnie quickly sobers up and reaches over to grab her, a few chuckles lingering in her throat as she cuddles her daughter into her chest.

“I carried this child around for nine months and she comes out looking like you. Where’s the justice in that?”

I spent the day with them, selfishly hoping no one else from The Hollow would come to visit and then immediately taking it back when I realized how wrong I am for putting that thought out there. Marnie deserves visitors. She deserves all the love and support she can get, especially when we both know I'll be heading back to the airport later tonight to catch a plane to school. Either way, no one came besides a tired Josh who had just come off a twelve-hour shift at the factory and couldn't even check his phone to receive the news.

She received a few text messages and calls from friends to congratulate her and promise to pop in when she got home, but no one bothered to take the time to come up to the hospital and see her. To help her take a load off as she recovered from childbirth and still managed to take care of two needy children. I wished I could stay, but we both knew it wasn’t possible.

“What do you think about Gabriella?” she asks me as I feed Ally her macaroni and cheese dinner.

“I like it.” It's beautiful and elegant, just like the little girl sleeping in her mother’s arms.

“Me too,” she sighs, looking down at the child with nothing but love and admiration in her eyes.

“Me too,” Ally parrots, causing another fit of quiet giggles to fill the room.

Josh is sleeping soundly in the recliner beside Ally, and we decide to leave him alone for a little while. Denise still hasn’t come. It’s nearing the end of visiting hours when I finally get the nerve to bring her up, too afraid that the mention of her would spark an emotional response from Marnie that I’m not equipped to deal with. When she first had Ally, everything I said on the phone made her cry, usually making awkward goodbyes before we picked up the next day and pretended nothing had happened. She said it was the hormones.

“Who’s going to help you at home, Marnie?”

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