Page 12 of Advice from a Sunflower

We finish our meal in stony silence, each of them stealing looks at each other while I quietly avoid them altogether. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. Marnie isn’t the most careful person when it comes to things like doctor’s appointments or using protection. I know because Denise has insisted on keeping us on birth control since Marnie turned sixteen and was caught by one of the neighbors in a parked car down the street with a guy in the grade above us. Denise went ballistic, throwing everything Marnie owned out our bedroom window onto the back lawn while we both watched helplessly. Then, she called the nearest doctor’s office and got us in for appointments as soon as possible.

I helped Marnie bring her things back inside later that night, ignoring her soft sniffles after Denise left to meet with some friends to talk it over at her prayer circle. When we were finished, she slumped down onto her bed and rested her head into her hands.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she said into her lap.

I stopped fiddling with a shirt I’d been unfolding and folding over and over again to look at her.

“I’m not thinking anything.”

Marnie scoffed, lifting her head to look up at me. She swiped her hand under her nose, not bothering to hide the tears anymore. “Sure, you are. You and everyone else in this shitty town all think the same thing. As if any of you know a thing about me. You see what I let you; just remember that.”

“I know, Mar. But I don’t judge you for a single thing that you do. You have your reasons just like everyone else.”

“Yeah, I do. And I’m not as much of an idiot as you all think I am, either.”

“Of course, you aren’t. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

She looked down again, picking at the imaginary lint on her pants. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For never questioning me, even when I give you a million reasons why you should.”

Chapter 8

Lyla

18 years old

Graduation day has officially come to a close and I can’t avoid the sweet relief I feel about never walking through the halls of Hollow High again. I’ve given my valedictorian speech, walked across the stage with the rest of my classmates, and turned over my tassel to signify the end of a very horrible chapter in my life.

Marnie is out celebrating with her friends on Mr. McFarland’s property. Rumor has it, he’s in the hospital after a nasty fall, so there will be an especially ridiculous amount of underaged partying going on while no one is around to bother them. After the Halloween incident during junior year, Marnie hasn’t bothered trying to get me to go out with her, especially once she got close with Emma and Olivia again.

I’m not sure if it was them who discouraged her from speaking to me or if it was me keeping my distance, but things changed between us after that night. She’s been colder toward me than ever before, barely acknowledging my presence before she darts off to some social gathering, school, or a shift at the diner.

When their group of friends would come into the diner, they’d always make a point to sit in my section. I had a suspicion it was Emma’s idea to torture me. I’d made the mistake of taking their table one time, and both she and Olivia spent the entire two hours they were there sending food back and trying to get me fired. Eli was there, and he just sat and watched, quietly begging his girlfriend to stop but making no moves to leave. At the end of the night the owner, Lisa made me pay for half of the food they sent back out of my weekly paycheck. When Marnie heard about it through the other waitresses, she didn’t say a word to me, but started taking the table whenever they tried to come in and sit in my section.

None of it matters now, because my last shift was yesterday. The next time I see any of those people, I’ll have a college degree and they’ll be serving me my coffee when I pass through town to visit Denise and Marnie.

Although, I’m not sure how much they would even want me around. I didn’t expect that they would clear their schedules to spend my last night at home together, but the disappointment from sitting in the empty house is almost crippling. A further confirmation that they barely notice my presence anymore, and it won’t matter to them once I’m gone. Somehow, I still haven’t formed a tough enough skin for that to not bother me.

I spend the solitary night placing my things into one measly suitcase, disappointed at how much room is left over. When I have most of my things neatly stacked into the bag, I head to the backyard and lay a blanket out on the lawn with one of my favorite books.

The sky looks larger tonight, filled with stars that hold a comfort and promise my own family could never provide me. I love that no matter where I go, I’ll always be looking at the same night sky. It’s consistent. Stable. Nothing like what I’ve experienced in my life thus far, and it inspires me to provide those things for myself.

Just as I tear my gaze away from the stars and open my book, a familiar voice startles me from above.

“Marnie says you’re leaving tomorrow.”

Eli.

I can’t hide the surprise on my face. Marnie doesn’t even speak to me lately, especially now that she and Denise are in their own war over her pregnancy. Denise has stuck to her guns. To everyone’s surprise, the child’s father, Josh has gotten into a few arguments with her about it. They’re currently on a silent streak, competing to see who can ignore the other one’s existence with more commitment on the rare occasion they find themselves in the same room. I assumed Marnie didn’t have time to bother with me anymore.

“So, are you afraid?” he pushes after several moments of thick silence. He sits on the blanket beside me and lies back comfortably, as if he were invited to do so. I would never deny him, and I think he knows it.

“Of what?”

“Leaving everything you’ve ever known? Going away to a place you’ve never been?”

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